Day 2214: Spring Break

It's finally here!

Yesterday, Friday, I took the entire day off and it was glorious. I slept in. Danny and I went to meet Neehar for lunch at Milwaukee Ale House, where I ate a bacon-stuffed-bacon-cheeseburger and had a yummy stout beer to wash it down. Then, my burger was obviously too filling, so I came home and took a nap while Danny played Tomb Raider 4. I woke up, I watched some TV on my computer and Danny continued to play his video game. We went to a classmate's house around 8:30pm where they were having a little get-together. There were about 15 people there and it was a ton of fun. They had food and booze (a perfect combination for a good time) and it was all the classmates I like, so I couldn't have asked for anything better :)

Today, I slept in and finally cleaned my apartment (dirty dishes, the bathroom, my room, my closet, etc). How I love a clean living space. Then I went to the gym (my gym schedule has been extremely erratic lately) which I loved. And then I went to Target to run some errands. Then to the grocery store to buy some vegetables (since my life has consisted of eggs and pasta the past few days). Then home to make this. While chopping the vegetables for the quinoa salad, I watched some Global Health videos for an assignment. Now I have to write a one-page reflection on each video. Then, I will either do some Step 1 (that's what my upcoming boards) studying or learn more kidney stuff for this block of pathology.

I am taking a relaxed approach to spring break. I definitely plan on studying, but I am so happy that there is no new material for an entire week! This will let me solidify what we have learned so far in path and also start getting my Step 1 study schedule together.

For those of you I haven't told, unlike last year, where spring break was this wonderful time of going home and seeing my family, spring break this year is more like the mark of doom. Every M3 (third year medical student) I have spoken to says spring break (or right after) is when you begin actually studying for boards. Well, I have been studying every (few) days for it since late January. Even so, I don't feel terribly ahead of the game. Instead, I have a minor panic attack every day about how spring break is almost/now here and how I still feel like I don't know anything. Don't get me wrong, I know some things, but not everything. And that, my friends, freaks me the hell out.

So, the next five days will be filled with learning but at a less stressful and erratic pace.

Danny, his brother and I are off to New York on Thursday as my last hoorah of fun. (YAY!) I still plan on studying in New York because that's my life from here until June but so be it. As I was discussing with an M3 pal of mine, getting to and through boards is a rite of passage for every medical student. I plan on kicking this rite's butt and sealing my fate as a future urologist.

(Are these wordy posts getting annoying? My next post will have pictures, promise.)

Day 2078: Broke-phone.

I forgot to post this so here it is, pre-post-dated.

Hours after speaking with Jess, this happened.

Apple told me they would fix it for $200. The insurance on my phone also told me they would fix it for $200. Life is full of expensive surprises. FYI, I am not fixing it. I have to finishing paying off the wedding I just attended.

Day 1126: Baby Sister's Graduation!

For those of you who read my blog, I assume you know me. I have this amazing younger sister who is just the bee's knees. She is, by far, cooler and better than me in every regard. Except maybe fashion but even now I try to dress like a 64 year old white man so maybe she does have me beat ;)

Anyway! Baby sister graduated! From college! Keep your applause until the end, please. She graduated with a degree in public relations and a minor in international business. She's just the best thing you have ever seen. I don't know how she keeps her awesome under wraps, but it always peeks out so we know that it's there. The graduation itself was pretty boring, as all graduations tend to be, but I screamed pretty darn loud when they called her name!

So, that was that. She goes to school near LA, so on Sunday, I went to the Rose Bowl Flea Market (pictured below) with my sister and my friend and saw this person (the second picture):

I love her more than anything. She looked super normal (not thinner in real life) and did normal things like eat overpriced pretzels and mull about the stalls. My sister mocked my friend and I for being so amazed at her normalcy, but honestly, when you're famous, after a certain amount of time, you forget what normal is like. You expect things. Like umbrella holders (people, not objects). Or free stuff. Stuff normal people don't have. So.

Dear the actress from "The Notebook" and "Mean Girls" (that's who that is in case you can't tell), I love you. Thank you for being normal and relatable. I apologize for stalking you for half an hour, but I tried to be covert. I did not sell this photo to TMZ and if they try to take it, I will sue them for not asking my permission (note how I haven't written your name in an attempt to save you from internet psychotism and TMZ stalking me). I respect you and your privacy (despite taking this paparazzi photo). Love, Me

Day 1125: Boston, not quite a town, not quite a city. A towity.

My good friend Smash (from college who currently resides in Boston) calls it a cown (pronounced like "sound" with no "d"). I think it's a towity. In all honesty, I wasn't wow-ed by Boston. It was there. I entered with no expectations of the city, which is the best way to go through new experiences in life I've found.  I knew it wouldn't be New York. And believe you me, it was not. It has a lot of history and a lot of interesting architecture. It's a walk-able towity. It's pretty. Its subway system is fine. It sure as ain't no New York Metro, but it gets you from A to B. There are lots of colleges. Lots of students. Lots of white people. Lots of Asians (predominantly around MIT, shocker much?). All I can tell you is, Boston is not for me. If I had to live there, temporarily (like when I was in North Carolina), I would, of course. But I would never choose to live there. It's fun enough to visit though. Next time, I'll do more of the free things.

I lost my Boston pictures when I synced up my new phone to my computer. I was bummed about losing some fun pictures of Boston Common and the Public Garden (pretty parks in the heart of Boston), the George Washington statue wearing a customized Bruins jersey, the State House (pretty gold roof), and churches (pretty architecture), but such is life. I only have pictures from my camera, which have people in them. And for those of you who don't know, I have this weird idea about publicizing myself so even though I have a blog, have you noticed there are no pictures of me? Even my new teeth ones have my eyes barred out. I don't know why I'm so weird about it. When I read fashion blogs, etc, I like seeing the blogger's pictures. To post pictures of myself or not? That is the question. (Comment if you feel so inclined, I'm here for the masses of course)

Day 1124: New York, my one true love.

I was in New York for eight days. It had been two years since I had been. I need you to understand how at home I feel in New York. It feels like I'm whole. And if you've met/hung out with me in the last six months, I am very, very whole. I'm a little intense in my wholeness. Imagine how complete I feel in New York. It's just a very comfortable feeling. Walking the streets. Finding new things around every corner. Eating and gaining back all the weight I lost doing yoga. Seeing friends. It's all just a wonderful feeling that I have decided I have to find my way back post-med school. Have to. Must. Absolutely necessary.

I had to get a new phone while I was there so I lost my pictures when I synced my old info onto my new phone. Luckily I saved these to my email. The rest were just photos from the Met and the "Celebrating 100 Years" at the New York Public Library. It was sad at first, but these were my keepers anyway.

Day 1123: Wisconsin

Wisconsin was...fine. I hung out with my good friend's Dad. I hung out with said good friend's ex-boyfriends. One of whom is my new roommate. I found an apartment. For the price of a pair of shoes, haha not even kidding. It's so cheap out there. It's beyond laughable. It's actually a crime to think how cheap it is in comparison to California or New York or other expensive places I like to frequent.

Anyhoo, I went to the Miller Brewery with one of my new friends Bruce (like Wayne! He likes comics). It's a fun little tour and you get free beer at the end. So. Even though I have deemed there to be nothing in the midwest (actually, my mother said that and I came to concur after spending a little more than two weeks there), I am there. Therefore. Visit. And drink free beer. The end.

Day 1123: Indianapolis

After Columbus, I went to visit my best friend in Indiana! Let me tell you a little something about her. If any human being on earth could follow a plan as perfectly as she did, I can promise you, this person does not exist. Only one person has her act together and her name is Jessica's Best Friend (we shall here on out call her JBF).

So, JBF graduated law school, passed her bar exam while in law school (which is practically unheard of!), got sworn in to the bar, and is now saving the world from law-breakers! Did I mention she married her middle-school sweetheart last year and owns a home? Not some closet in the back room of a bar. A house! A home!

Why can't my life come together like this?

Alas, our time together was so taken up with celebrating her (which was absolutely wonderful), that we didn't get too much one-on-one time (which was absolutely dismal). It was fantastic to see her and reconnect since it had been awhile. I was just reminded how great she is and how lucky I am to have her in my life. Good thing I'm moving to the midwest so we can be closer, both geographically and metaphorically.

To keep this from being the most boring entry of praise ever, here are some pictures from my trip:

The rest are actually of her and her family and that's just Facebook on crack (posting things without her consent/breaching her privacy by posting pictures of her). So. You have a highway sign and building. Suck it up and enjoy it.

Day 1122: I suck.

I know this. I was on vacation and didn't really have much going on except vacating my mind of any real thoughts so I didn't end up blogging. I'm going to split up all these posts so it looks like a) I'm a regular blogger (lies!) and b) so you aren't bored out of your mind from reading a post that should have ended four sentences ago.

Summary: In six weeks, I was in six different cities, in six different states. I'll break up the posts accordingly. I arrived home Sunday night and have been up to things also! I think I'll update you on that since it's most recent and more relevant since vacation is over and done with.

I'm home. I'm hanging out with the 'rents. I've seen friends. I've done errands. I am volunteering at my yoga studio for FREE YOGA (pure bliss). I'm reading books. I'm enjoying the nice weather. I'm getting back into daily NPR listening sessions. It's a good life.

Day 858: Some promises, kept.

Yes! I'm posting once a week! For two weeks now! ...it's the little things that count in life, okay?

So, I'm posting, but unfortunately, I don't have much to post about. The waiting game continues. I, now, have only three weeks until October 15th, but I need to stress (to all five of you) how unlikely it is I will hear back that soon. That date is just the earliest I could possibly hear back. Luck has never quite been on my side, so if I can hear back before the holidays (honestly, if you're rejecting me, just tell me. Don't lollygag and keep me hanging) I would be a happy camper.

Anyhoo, my life at the lab is the same. Not too much going on for little old me, but it's fine because it allows me to do other things (such as re-read The Fountainhead). A good friend of mine from high school is rolling through town tomorrow and I am uber-excited to see him! My father has gotten my mother sick, my grandma is back, my sister has returned for her last (eep!) year of college and we all trudge on.

Day 797: A big day

Actually, yesterday was the big day.

I gave my first paper presentation! Luckily it was only to our little lab and not to the entire journal club (lots of labs, lots of big principal investigators/big wigs) -- phew! It was a paper about a certain protein that's secreted when the tissue dies and what it's presence in the blood means for the future of stroke treatment. Blah blah blah. It was a decent paper and a decent presentation. It was tough since I didn't know what half the cytokines (signaling molecules) were, but whatever. I did it!

I was also rejected from my first school yesterday.

They didn't have a secondary so they based it solely on my personal statement and stats. ...I'm not sure what that means. Either way, I'm bummed to be starting off my second round of medical school apps with a rejection, but such is life. As my dad likes to say, "get over it and move on." That's the plan pops, that's the plan.

Hmm, what else? Oh. Yeah. I went from this...

...to this.

I really have to get used to this new smile. I had my old unique one for 20+ years. And I've had this one for a day. It'll take some time to adjust. For all of us. Trust me when I say, I look weird. Different.

Day 789: An update

This post goes out to my friend Mona, who is livin' it up in Europa right now! (If I could seethe through fiber optic connections, I would :P)

Let's see. What can I update you all on?

I have received secondary applications from 12 of the 16 schools I applied to. I haven't gotten too sick of filling them out just yet, and at this point, it's actually the last four that matter (three of them are state schools), so I'll need to keep my head in the game.

My friend Nicki and my mom have been wonderful about reading through them and making sure I stay on message, etc etc. (Thank you both!)

What else? My life was consumed with the World Cup and my team won!

(All pictures via F-Yeah! World Cup!)

My best friend's wedding (the event, not the film) is in less than three weeks! It's a little scary to think the summer has gone by so quickly / she's finally get married / we're all growing up / etc etc. Life. SLOW DOWN. You're going too fast for me.

P.S. I saw my orthodontist today and my tooth might be dying. Yeah...about that... I'll keep you posted!

Day 685: Failure -- flaw or character building?

At what point does failure stop being character building and start becoming a character flaw?

This is the question going through my mind. After more rejections from schools and life, I wonder if medical school or helping people is really in the cards for me. With rejections left and right from medical schools, including an especially frightening one from the University of Miami -- they "terminated the admissions process with me", it seems evident 2009-2010 was not the application cycle for me. Follow that up with a rejection from a summer camp job I applied for and you can see how I leaped to these conclusions. My obvious distaste for humankind must be seeping through to all facets of my life because what other explanation is there for human disliking me right back?

I am frustrated beyond belief. I wanted this camp job more than anything else lately. It was going to give me some much needed fulfillment and validation. Right now, I am raversing the fine line between routine and rut. I hoped camp would get me out of both (the rut of my routine) and give me something to look forward to. Make me feel like I was making a difference. Instead, they seem to be throwing salt in my wounds to further remind me how inept I am at life.

The rejections from med schools were character building. They showed me that life doesn't work out as planned. Your character is not defined by how well you plan, but by how well you deal with the kinks in your plan. And right now, my life is looking like a protein. Kink-y.

See? Kinky.

So the question remains, at what point does all this failure stop being character building and start being a sign from on-high that whatever I'm doing is not working?

Day 320: Hell in a handbasket

My organic exam on Friday was a complete disaster.

This was me.

Overall, the exam was really detrimental to my fragile mental state. I called my parents later that day and completely broke down into this ridiculous sobbing mess. Don't worry, I'm fine. I think I really just needed to get it out. It's quite obvious I have not been 100% lately and I think I needed it. I don't know that it helped (sadly), but I'm starting to regenerate a little. I'm getting my focus back. It's more like "fo" right now and I'm looking for the "cus" but it'll all come together. ...I hope.

Anyway, my Physics exam doesn't look too terrible. It seems like I actually have a grasp of what's going on. Mainly because it's not electric and magnetic fields (which sounds about as interesting as it should) which are way too conceptual and abstract for me.

Socially, I haven't been able to shake this one friend ... let's call him JB ... I may have given him another name but that's his name from now on. He's a little too conservative and yesterday, when we were hanging out, he said, "this is why you should hang out with me. Because I call you out on all your liberal B-S." Oh my gosh. Shut up. That type of talk used to get me all riled up and want to keep pursuing the conversation but now ... meh. I'm over it. Boys are dumb.

I've been hanging out with this one Asian girl, Hannah. She's tons of freakin' fun. We get along and bitch about life and are there for each other and are just Asian together. We eat out and experience yummy food and I get to use chopsticks! Man, I miss chopsticks.

Okay, back to studying.

Day 263: Labs and exams and a lot of work.

Next week is my first week of exams. Physics on Monday, Physiology quiz on Wednesday and Organic exam on Friday. Let's not forget my labs on Tuesday. I took some pictures of my Organic lab notebook to show you how much work goes into this ridiculous thing.

(This lab was 16 pages, one-side)

Anyway, I need to do a lot more studying before my Physics and Organic exams. I realized what my problem has been this semester. Last semester, I was scared out of my pants that I couldn't do it. In response to that fear, I studied all day every day.

Now that I know that I can handle it, I'm just not with it. I'm fine, really. Just by my standards (and compared to last semester) I'm feeling behind. Like way behind. For example, I'm usually a chapter ahead in Organic. That was the only class that mattered last semester so that might be why I'm feeling behind. I'm dividing time equally between all my subjects so I just can't dedicate all that time, I suppose. I don't know. Either way, don't worry Dad. I'll be fine. I'll get my act together.

Tomorrow (Saturday) I will be having another Physics dinner party. Dinner followed by me helping girls with Physics (I know, it still seems rather unlikely).

You should all check out Hungry Girl. This website is amazing. If anyone wants to get me the cookbook (hint, hint) just for fun I think I'd love you for life. And deliver your first child. And perform your appendicitis. Among other doctorly skills I will eventually acquire.

Lastly, I think you should all know today rocked. I made this recipe from Hungry Girl, found my camera memory card (that I misplaced because it's me), and sold these boots I bought off eBay (not the right fit). Sweetness.