Friday, June 27, 2014

Day 2979: I made it!

I took my final Shelf exam of my medical school career today! And it was...fine. Ha! Aren't they always? Who cares? It's over and I am 322 days away from commencement and the coveted MD!

I hope to will make a post in the near future reflecting on this past academic year. Until then -- off to watch some TV, work on some personal statements, and relish my few days off before I start studying for my final two board exams of medical school! Ahhhh! The future is now!

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Day 2976: Consented pictures

Our first picture together!

Found a new little park by the river and across the street from MKE Public Market

Tiff loves Moscato

Behind this guy in the red shirt was the stage for Jazz in the Park

Danny was here too ;)

Kandinsky & Tiff, two of my favorite things

Hanging out at the Milwaukee Art Museum

With the Milwaukee Art Museum

Lakefront gals

The big ol' beer I never saw on previous tours

"Ladies, why settle for a six-pack when you can have a keg?" - John, our tour guide

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Day 2974: BFFs & one week left!

Can you believe in less than one week, I will officially be a fourth year medical student? I am an "Em-Duh" -- get it? Three-fourths of my way to an "Em-Dee"!

One of my closest friends Tiff came to visit this weekend and it was sheer and utter perfection. I really needed to see her after some drama that occurred the weekend before. She is such a calming presence and this weekend confirmed a) our similarities, b) her absolutely amazing self, and c) how much I miss her in my everyday life. It is both a blessing and curse when friends from different aspects of my life come to visit. Blessing-wise, I am reminded how loved I am and how I have found some truly awe-inspiring people who honor me with their friendship. Curse-wise, it reminds me how difficult it has been for me to find these people (see here, excluding D of course) in one of the more critical periods of my life. Medical school has been a mental and personal struggle (with the occasional triumph) and connecting with others who have experienced it has been a surprisingly arduous undertaking. I was beyond elated to spend this time with Tiff and I hope (desperately) that I can see her soon and more regularly.

Anyway, pictures to come of her visit/our lovefest. (I need her to sign the release form ;P)

Monday, June 9, 2014

Day 2961: It's all good.

Hey y'all,

Thank you to those who reached out to me regarding my previous post. I am fine. I'm sorry it made you all sad too. It's just strange to me that I have been able to make life-long friends in every aspect of my life (high school, college, post-baccalaureate studies) and yet I cannot seem to make a single G-D friend in medical school. I might have one -- the misogynist. But, as Danny pointed out, this is all up in the air. I may surprise myself with who I keep in touch with. I may actually keep in touch with people. Instead of getting down in the dumps about it (as is my M.O.), he recommends being more open-minded about it. I am trying, but it's much easier to be a Debbie Downer than it is to be Miss I-Love-Life.

I had my first real day of pediatric clinic today and I really enjoyed myself. I saw patients by myself, wrote notes, diagnosed some people. It was a good day. I told an anesthesiologist I met today that I wanted to do med-peds and he was very supportive. It made me feel good to know that in spite of the varied opinions I get from attendings regarding my decision to pursue med-peds, I think it's the right one for me. Now, to ensure that D and I end up in the same place. Battle numero dos.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Day 2955: These people

My classmate and budding friend Brian said something somewhat depressing this past Sunday. He pointed out that, after all of this (me: gesticulating at medical school and books and studying), he probably would not keep in touch with any of his "friends" beyond graduation.

When I probed him further, his reasoning made sense. This sort of atmosphere doesn't really foster life-long relationships. Don't get me wrong, I have met several residents who endorse meeting best friends from medical school. Maybe Brian and I are the weird ones. He has more friends, more gatherings to attend than I, but it was both heartening and disheartening to hear that these friends aren't real. They are not substantive. They are...present more than anything else. It's people to hang out with and spend time with, but there is nothing deeper happening behind the scenes. There isn't sharing of fears or dreams or any of that touchy feely stuff. It's more superficial -- what did you think of that exam? How is your rotation going? Anything going on this weekend?

That night, I became extremely dejected. I would maybe, truthfully, speak to one classmate after medical school. And, to be honest, he's kind of a misogynist and calls me "chinky." (I know, I sure know how to pick 'em.) But, with all the numbers in my phone, I would feel grateful to text one or two people a month to check in and see how they are doing. It's just sad to think that after four years of blood, sweat, and tears, none of it was bond-forming. I see others in my class, who will most likely keep in touch with several people after all of this, and sometimes I wonder, is there something wrong with me? I'm sure there is, but apparently I can't be bothered to investigate further. I just keep trying to make these connections that end up flailing, which leads Danny to consoling me after my umpteenth attempt at finding a lasting friendship out of these people.

When did these people become only that? "These people." No names, no faces, just a sea of people I will probably never see again.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Day 2953: Bye bye inpatient peds

I survived night float...barely. I got sick half-way through, and am only finally feeling better (about 7 days after first getting sick). Not sleeping enough, courtesy of inpatient pediatrics, really takes a toll on one's ability to heal. Anyway, pediatrics is over...the hard part. The 12 hour days start to get extremely boring after a while, especially as a medical student. I can't put in orders for medications or labs, I can consult other services but can't do anything about their recommendations. And, my intern (who I was paired with) and senior resident (essentially the boss of the team) were terrible. I am so glad to be done with inpatient peds. Probably the worst part of everything was the fact that my team was so awful, I had a difficult time looking past that fact and couldn't quite figure out if I enjoyed taking care of children. I think outpatient pediatrics (what I am on this month) will provide me with insight as to whether I can handle taking care of kids.

In other news, I have lots of visits in store! My parents will be in town in two weeks. My darling friend Tiff will be here a few days after that. Then, pediatrics will be over and I will officially be a fourth year medical student! On the way out of this peach pit! Holy cow!