Monday, September 27, 2010

Day 860: Sometimes I amaze even myself...

...with how stupid I can be.

For those that have heard this story before, thank you (for the umpteenth time) for allowing me to freak out.

I am interviewing at a medical school in New Orleans next Monday (yay!). I received the invite two weeks ago while I was at my Philly interview. I needed to reschedule my NoLa interview so I called them whilst on a break from my Philly interview. The woman on the phone said, "All right Jessica, you're all set for October 4th. I await your return email." Well, being me, in all the hullabaloo of rescheduling my NoLa interview and being at my Philly interview and flying home (it sounds like I'm making excuses, which I am), I completely and utterly forgot to email the NoLa school back. Everything's fine, right? Sure, sure. Except for the tiny detail where it states explicitly in my interview invitation, "you must email us within five days of the receipt of this email or your spot will not be guaranteed." %*$@!

I realize this fact on Saturday (a little under two weeks after I receive this email, I reiterate %*$@!) and am so lucky (note the sarcasm) to get 36 full hours to flip the heck out. I don't think you understand how much I drained myself emotionally. After this realization, I went swimming with my friend, came home and literally forced myself to sleep at 7:30/8pm. I didn't want to deal with my parents' disappointment (and further reminders of what a seriously dumb piece of crap I am) so I went to sleep. I just needed Monday to get here so I could speak to someone at the Admissions office and see if I needed to shoot myself in the foot in order to move on with my life.

Luckily, I called the Admissions office today and everything is okay. The same woman said again, "okay Jessica, no problem, we'll see you October 4th." And that's that.

I tried really hard this weekend to talk myself down from my freak out, knowing full well I had done everything I possibly could until Monday. Nevertheless, it was brutal. I haven't felt so worthless and hopeless in a long time. It's nice to know those feelings are like riding a bicycle. They just come back and you ride them out as if you were an emo teenager yesterday.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Day 858: Some promises, kept.

Yes! I'm posting once a week! For two weeks now!'s the little things that count in life, okay?

So, I'm posting, but unfortunately, I don't have much to post about. The waiting game continues. I, now, have only three weeks until October 15th, but I need to stress (to all five of you) how unlikely it is I will hear back that soon. That date is just the earliest I could possibly hear back. Luck has never quite been on my side, so if I can hear back before the holidays (honestly, if you're rejecting me, just tell me. Don't lollygag and keep me hanging) I would be a happy camper.

Anyhoo, my life at the lab is the same. Not too much going on for little old me, but it's fine because it allows me to do other things (such as re-read The Fountainhead). A good friend of mine from high school is rolling through town tomorrow and I am uber-excited to see him! My father has gotten my mother sick, my grandma is back, my sister has returned for her last (eep!) year of college and we all trudge on.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Day 847: Philadelphia

I am attempting to be better about setting realistic goals for myself so let’s see if I can get one entry a week in here okay? I mean, let’s just hope for this to be true.

I am currently en route to Denver from Philadelphia where I was for an interview. The city of Philadelphia was not very loving to me when I first arrived Thursday night, but I can say with great pleasure that the school where I interviewed significantly made up for it.

The students were enthusiastic about their school and each other. Granted, they were nowhere near as enthusiastic or supportive of each other as the San Antonio medical students. However, that isn’t a bad thing. It was just to a lesser degree than I was accustomed to (since San Antonio was my first interview).

Right now, I think I like this school better than I do San Antonio. The facilities are newer, which never hurts. I didn’t think facilities really mattered to me because as long as you learn, that’s what matters. However, after seeing the new shiny and pretty facilities at this Philly school, I was pretty impressed with what I saw. Now, facilities matter more than they did before. The faculty also sound very approachable and supportive, which is always a plus.

The biggest issue for me now is cost…and getting in. So I suppose it’s two things. This Philly school has an out-of-state tuition reaching the $54,000 mark. The San Antonio school has an out-of-state tuition just over $26,000. Uhhh, holy crap! Not until I wrote those numbers did I realize what a huge freaking difference that is! I would be literally be paying double every year for my medical education. Damn. The Philly school seemed really helpful about financial aid, but, seriously. Damn. How sad is it that education, very often, comes down to the numbers? (Very sad.)

Let’s get back to problem number two, getting in. The earliest I could hear from these schools is October 15th. Luckily that’s only a month away and I will have things, like football and more interviews and personal pet projects, to keep me busy but still.

To be honest, I’m not that nerve-wracked for some reason. I think that’s because I’m too focused on getting out to my next two interviews (I have two! Eep! :D) that these are now out of my control I was my awesome self at each and we’ll have to hope that they liked me enough to want to offer me a spot in their class. Fingers crossed!

Until the next entry my dears!