Day 2270: Sick, dying, and thank you

Hey all,

The quickest post to tell you I am sick. For the third time this year! Apparently it's true, when you are stressed out, you get sick much faster. I am never ever sick. And now I am on icky-feeling-number-three for the year 2013.

I am dying of stress. Not my sickness. My whatever-this-is involves a lot of clogged noses and nose-blowing and somewhat phlegm-y feeling throat. My cumulative final for pathology is on May 9th (!!!) and then my final exam of microbiology is on May 13th. Luckily micro is not cumulative, but still. I'm not terribly stressed about either exam, so much as busy going over the material (the previous seven blocks of path) and learning the new stuff (dermatology, breast, thyroid, etc). The true stress comes from the fact that my board exams are a little more than 5 or 6 weeks away! I'm still on the fence about moving my test date up, but everyone and their mother's brother's niece's dog says that I will either burn out by my current test date (June 17th) or stress myself out so much in that time (aka Jessica will become bald like Homer Simpson -- with three lone strands of hair left), so we'll see.

How sad is my life? I am straight-up excited for finals to be over, not because I have finished another somewhat-hellish year and am heading in to the hospital (!!), but rather my excitement is due to the fact that I can finally dedicate my desired 10-12 hours a day of solely boards studying. Very sad Jessica. Pitiful actually.

Thank you all for your texts and care packages (BEL-C)! I feel so lucky to have people who love and care about me so much. Especially when I have essentially turned my back on everyone to get through the last 5 weeks of pure hell. Thank you. From the bottom of my cold, dead heart. My heart will beat again soon and I will be the friend each of you so deserve.

There might be radio silence until then so I wanted to end it on a positive note. Honestly and truly. Thank you all.

Day 2135: Home, at last.

Okay. So. This blog title is about 6 days too late, but a lot has happened since I have been home.

I took my pharmacology final, which, as expected, was a lot of bloody information. However, it is over and I am positive that I passed the class so hooray! The most difficult class of my M2 year, done-zo!

I flew home on Friday (the 14th) and there was a party on Saturday for all these little MBA-wannabes that my parents know so I was quite the left-out-duck in regards to conversation. The rest of the week has been a blur of seeing friends and hanging out. I am currently attempting this while listening to this.

I know this was a boring update post but someone's gotta do it. Pictures coming soon!

Day 2125: The strangest day.

Okay. Before I finally get in to my clinical exam and reasoning (CER) studying, I must tell you about my day.

9am: Exam. Ooph. I did okay, which is to be expected. I kind of let pathology go to the wind this block mainly because I am scared sh!tless for my cumulative pharm final on Thursday (so soon).

11am: I go to Sephora to pick something up for my sister and the item they said they had in stock was not actually in stock. Lame. It's fine. I did this to my nails while I was there. (This = painted them different shades of blue. Then I came home and painted the bases gold. Eureka.)

12:30pm: My friend CM decided to make fudge on a whim. It was delicious and she was kind enough to send me some so that a) we could be little fudgester-pudgesters together and b) she was sending me a sweet little exam-week gift. Well. This is what I received in the mail.

Instead of fudge, I got a paperback 2012 Annotated Brothers Grimm. I sent CM a text (being confused about the package and sending her a picture of the book) asking her if I was missing something, and you better believe that girl was pissed. Where is the fudge? See those green stickers? Someone opened my box, took my plastic containers filled with fudge, put this book in, and sealed it with stickers. What? What?? WHAT??? She is Type A (like me!) so she called USPS Customer Service and let them know what happened. The USPS Customer Service woman said she had never heard something like that happening. WHAT???? Where. Is. My. FUDGE?!

12:40pm: I open an unknown package to discover this!

Danny bought me these coral pillow covers that I have been lusting because I desperately need some more colorful pillows to make my boring mauve-gray couch more exciting. I LOVE THEM. (I have been making strange grunting sounds of joy whenever I see them haha)

4:30pm: Where has the day gone? I think I studied. It's hard to say.

5:00pm: I dropped my phone (what's new?) and the speakers freaked out. All the sound coming out of it was garbled, like it was underwater. Then, after a few shake-shake-shakes, it was fixed! I kissed my phone so hard to thank it for believing in me and staying alive!

Until Now: I finally got focused and unafraid to tackle the large, large amounts of pharmacology I have to learn/relearn/refamiliarize myself with by Thursday.

Now: it's time to actually learn my stupid CER bull-malarkey.

Day 2124: I'm so bored.

I am sure I have posted this title before. However, it doesn't stop it from being true. I have been studying all weekend and with rainy, dreary weather to accompany me, it's amazing I haven't tried to sleep my life away.

Anyway, I am so bored with every aspect of my life that I am blogging to pass the boredom (and in hopes of getting my last bit of motivation together to review my last few topics).

Train of thought blogging. Go! I spoke to my pal LC (whom I met at my friend's bachelorette/wedding) and I adore her. We spoke for an hour and my life was just about complete. I perused eBay all day and didn't win some jeans I bid on. But then I won some other jeans. Here are (Instagram) pictures I have taken today to try to evade studying...

This is how I study...with recycled paper and lots of writing.

Study food. Savory oatmeal = almonds, beans, onions,
cheese and a bit of garlic powder. Amazing.

I am so everywhere right now. I'm sure you can't tell. I hide it veryyyyyyy well. Okay, I have obviously lost my mind. I'm going to go search for it in the recycling bin.

Day 2121: Chugging along

Oh hey! Fancy meeting you here!

I am taking another break to blog because the way my life looks right now (see below) would make anyone go crazy.

Anyway, my eye has stopped twitching. I realized a few days later that it was twitching most likely as a result of a slight corneal scratch. I have to tell you, when my eye was twitching, I was convinced it was stress. So, all of Sunday and Monday, I was a sh!tshow (study-wise). The twitching eye felt like a constant reminder of how stressed I was and, as a result, my studying quality was greatly diminished (and my stress level probably increased exponentially because I was so stressed about not being able to study well).

It's okay. In spite of it all, there is, somehow, time in the day to learn drugs. And some pathology. But a very small amount. Right now, it's pharm pharm pharm. Path will start tomorrow (afternoon) at the earliest, and then continue throughout the weekend until my exam Monday morning.

Boring update over. Back to studying. Gym at 10pm with a friend. Rinse. Repeat.

Day 2116: The countdown begins

I feel like this post title will be recycled. I will have lots of countdowns in the next six months, this being the first one -- the countdown to finals/winter break. In the next 13 days, I will have completed my first semester of my second year. I have a pathology exam, CER (Clinical Exam and Reasoning) exam and the dreaded cumulative pharmacology final. At this point, I am taking a much needed study break to blog. Exciting. I know. I am amidst learning the last 100-or-so drugs for Block 4 and then I have about 10 days to review the previous 400 drugs. No big deal. (INTERNAL FREAK OUT IMMINENT.)

PS, my eye has been twitching non-stop for two hours since this post. I need to de-stress/calm down.

Day 1912: One more exam, then family vacation!

Jessica is done with 8 out of 9 of her first year medical courses!

Today's neuro exam went well...I think. All I know is I did the best that I could and we'll see how that worked out for me. Check back tonight for exam results! Results are in! 88%! That's more than what I needed to make sure I passed the class. Apparently, hard work is all it takes to do well on exams, haha. Yippee!

What I really want to tell you about is my upcoming family vacation. You've met them, yes?

We're a crazy, hysterical bunch of little Asian people and I love my family to death. Anyhoo, since it is my last summer ever, we are going on a vacation! In one week! To Italy and Greece!

Cinque Terre/Manarola, Italy
Since I was the one who planned the itinerary (while in school, no less)
I made sure to include this beautiful city on our trip!

Santorini, Greece
My sister has wanted to go here since high school so this is
going to be a huge treat for her! And hello! Gorgeous!

I know, I know, I am incredibly lucky. I probably should have posted about this sooner so that you could all give me your recommendations, but alas, I've just been so reticent about talking about this vacation because then I seem so spoiled to be vacationing in Europe, blah blah blah. You know what people. This is my last summer. My parents work absurdly hard for every penny they have. My sister actually has time to go. Lots of things came together for this vacation and I cannot be more excited. Well, I could be, but that's because I have one more pesky final exam. Physiology. Four hours. 137 questions. Oh joy.

Day 1907: Two down, two to go.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jessica is two exams away from finishing her first year of medical school. !!!

My medical interview final was not what I heard it would be, but was totally fine. Hypertension and a 3-generation family history. Done-zo.

Today was my last exam for Cell & Tissue Biology (CTB). You should know, I absolutely annihilated it. 91 on the lab exam and 96 on the lecture exam.  I have to say, this class was actually pretty easy, which explains it's 78% pass score. (A "B" is an 85.5%!) I wish I had my act together in block 1 of this semester because this entire semester has been me working my butt off to compensate for my crappy first exam scores. I could have done really well (in this class) this semester!

Oh well. As Danny likes to point out, I got my act together pretty late in the game, but at least I got it together. And! Knowing what I need to succeed will mean that I will succeed next year.

Here are some fun pictures from my day:

Look what my sister sent me! A frame and self-made bracelets!

This was my reward. There is cheese inside the burger!

Okay kids, I've got to start studying neuro. The CTB exam ended at 11 and I've been doing random things since (getting clothes hemmed, making food, getting my laundry together, cleaning, tidying) so this is the last of my procrastination!

Until next time!

Day 1904: Don't be mad.

This is the last post you will be reading for the next week or so.

I have my medical interviewing final on Wednesday, a cell tissue biology exam on Thursday and then my neuroscience and physiology finals next week.

If I blog in that time frame, don't begrudge me for not studying. I'm sure a 20-minute-blog-break is not going to kill me. And, let's all be grateful I am updating this blog and not perusing Just Jared or People.com or other true time-wasters.

Wish me luck!

Day 1891: Happy May Day!

Hola todos! Today was the day of my Medical Spanish final. The final is comprised of conducting a medical interview, in Spanish. People. I have enough trouble conducting a medical interview in English (and remembering all the questions to ask). In what universe do you think I can perform one in Spanish?!

Luckily, they were swell peeps and they told us the six possible cases we would encounter:

1. Back pain / el dolor de la espalda
2. Hypertension / la hipertensión
3. Depression / la depresión
4. Abdominal pain / el dolor del abdomen
5. Asthma / el asma
6. Diabetes / la diabetes

My main preparatory concern was vocabulary. Luckily, they allowed us to bring in a 3x5 index card with whatever we wanted. I ended up being lazy and not even bringing a card. It worked out because I got a fairly easy case -- asthma! I think my unnecessary stress about this actually showed me two things. 1) They prepared us pretty darn well for this final. We had already gone over a lot of it in the previous four weeks of classes. 2) I stress out about things I don't need to stress out about. El caso de asma fue facil!

Oh, before I forget, the final also involved food! Delicious, delicious food of Spanish-speaking countries! Tamales! Corn tortillas with pork/chicken and guacamole and salsa and all the accoutrements! Churros! There was so much food (and of course I ate so much) that they sent us home with some. Way more for me than anyone else! (See below.) Food and a final. You know, I would be much more okay with final exams if there was food involved :)

Yes, that is an entire package of tamales I get to take home!

Day 1303: Home, tomorrow!

Monday, 12/12/2011. Biochemistry exam. Fine. Could have gone better. I'm not too stressed about the results of this exam or my performance in the course.

Tuesday 12/13/2011. Lots of studying. Much less stress. I'm at the point where I have to royally screw up my exams to move my grade in a negative direction.

Wednesday 12/14/2011. Anatomy lab practical. They tagged a few structures more than once (which they never do), but I knew the body so I wasn't fooled. Studying for my written anatomy/human development test tomorrow and then I fly home! To California! Whee!

(Be on the lookout for back-dated posts of my sister's visit!)

Day 356: The end! Really!

And it's all over. I had an Organic lab final on Saturday (Saturday!) and that was fine. Took my standardized Organic final this morning. I was out of there at 9:50am and I am (essentially) done with my premed requisites! I relaxed today and tomorrow is day 10 until the MCAT. And I am stoked. I am going to kick that test's butt. Forreal. It's going to be sweet.

Anyway, just wanted to share this with you. (I like that it's Asian!)

I'm done!

Day 353: One down, two to go!

Two more finals people.

Physio was tough this morning but I'm tight with one of my professors and she "expected a high grade" from me so that was very sweet. She believes in my abilities, how kind. And she's super on point. My final was at 8am this morning. Final grades were posted around 2pm. Passed the class, so I'm happy.

Organic lab final tomorrow (on a Saturday, I know), a friend's birthday party, Organic final on Monday and I am done-zo! I will hopefully be hanging out with Joy at some point. Anyway, I have decided to give myself Monday to chillax (and some of Tuesday) and then I am studying hardcore for the MCAT. I am totally going to 47 the MCAT. (It's out of 45 but I'm going to rock it so hard they're going to have to give me two extra points :P)

I'm off to bed (because Organic lab techniques are boring as heck!) but I'll catch you all on the flip side.

Day 345: I thought I blogged but...

...I guess not. I'm taking a quick break from studying to check my e-mail and finish up some online homework.

Anyhoo, I have my last Organic exam (before the final) tomorrow and I'm going to ace it. I'm studying my butt off and I'm going to rock it out.

The budget cuts across California have affected my future schooling. What this means is that I intended to continue my postbacc work in Cali (taking advanced science courses) but I can't because no schools are accepting students. And, because I dropped the ball, I am applying too late for the fall quarter. I don't know what to do.

(Copyright: ArvinComics)

I only need to take one more requirement (General Biology II) but I really wanted to take Biochemistry. Also, if I'm not taking classes, med schools will think I was being a lazy bum during the glide year/application year. It's just a lot of crappy economics happening at the moment. I've got people I need to call at SFSU, SJSU, etc today to get some 411.

Aside from that, school's about over (Cinco de Mayo is the last day!). Then I have finals. Goody.

Day 210: And it's all over (for now)!

Yes! I win!

And I'm done suckers. Muahaha.

I'm not going to lie. That final was hard. It wasn't necessarily anything I couldn't handle but it was, in typical Dr. Red (that's my Organic professor's "name") fashion, something I couldn't expect. I also did not study as much as I did for this final as I have for our previous exams but I've got to say, all in all, it was a good freaking final. It really tested one's breadth of Organic knowledge and I don't know...I'm a huge nerd who loves this stuff so I thought even though it was tough, it was good-tough. Either way, it's over and I'll get my grade for this course by the end the of the week (most likely).

The best freaking news ever is that I am going HOME. To California. Tomorrow.

Life does not get better than that.

Day 207: I win!

Muahaha suck on that science!

I passed my Biology and somehow managed to pass my Physics class? Granted, I freaking deserved it after studying my butt off for the final. All I have is my Organic final on Monday and I'm not even going to lie, I am not stressed at all. Everyone else seems quite stressed and unwell and I'm kind of excited. Even after our review session today, I'm still feeling a-okay. He's writing a 2-and-1/2-hour final for our three hour final period and I don't know. I'm excited about it...and still not worried.

I think this complacency (for once) has nothing to do with wanting to go home but with knowing that everything I'm doing is review. Unlike most of my class, I am not learning things for the first time. It's pure review. It's actually pretty sweet.

What kind of nerd says she loves Organic Chemistry and is not stressed-or-pressed about it? (Me!)

Day 202: Some good news

I finally got in contact with the only girlfriend (Joy) I wanted to keep from the bunch of bad apples (that I once called "friends") and we missed each other. We were both busy studying for respective events so we were just busy. She still loves me and I still love her and all is right with the world.

Onto more good news...for those of you who know me, and I'm all about mitigating any good accomplishments because I hate bragging more than anything else, I'm going to step out of my shell a little and tell you something. We got our Organic test results back and I did fine. Better than fine actually. I...kind of...well...got the highest grade on the test? Thank goodness he didn't call me out and say "Jessica got the highest grade on the exam" but it was pretty sweet to figure it out. In other good news, the class did so crappy (the average was 54) he's adding 10 points to everyone's score. I never count that stuff (he's done that twice now) but it's pretty sweet to know I've got a decent exam average. I mean, really freaking sweet.

The Physics test went fine. I did pull a Calvin on one question (I couldn't figure out how the numbers worked so I wrote a paragraph about why there should be a change in temperature) but I could care less.

If only my professor provided me with such a loophole...

I've decided if I come out with not-the-best-grade due to my circumstances...I'm going to deal with it. No tears. No pouts. No pissy fits. I'm just going to study my ass of second semester and kick butt on the Physics portion of the MCAT. If I can't fix the past, I can learn from it and improve my future.

So now I'm going to keep studying Physics concepts (specifically momentum and impulse and things that involve Greek letters), watch some "Dexter" (don't tell me!) and study some more for my final on Wednesday.

Day 200: More tests (ridiculous), finals and blood!

Hello hello!

I am so close to the end, I can taste it. It tastes like sweet victory, hard work and sheer joy. Well, sort of, haha.

There has been a lot of Physics drama in the past three days and here is what went down. Apparently, the test printed funny and all the correct answers were lighter (in color) than the other options (it was a multiple choice test). Some kids figured it out and whispered the knowledge to their friends and thus cheating ensued. As a result, Professor Oldy McOld has decided to issue a retest on Monday 12/8. ...did I forget to mention that our final is on Wednesday 12/10? Oh yeah. So there's that.

Class was a vicious environment on Friday -- filled with seething students and an unappreciated professor and you can only imagine the sort of bickering and back-and-forth cattiness that occurred. It was not good.

The moral of the story is, shut up, stop whining and study. I'm not happy about taking another test (so close to the final no less) but instead of whining I am going to study more concepts and make sure I've got the math down. What else can I do? Bitch and moan some more. Yawn.

My Organic exam can go either way. It's fine though. As previously mentioned, we can drop an exam and even though I hate that mentality ("I can drop a test so this last one doesn't matter"), I did study hard and whatnot but if it goes the bad way ... well ... I can drop it. How begrudging of me.

Finals next week include Physics on Wednesday and Biology on Thursday. Then it's Organic on Monday 12/15 and then HOME ON THE 17TH. I'm a little excited and antsy. Can you tell?

And on a joyous note, I gave blood today! Whee second time! Let me just tell you, that is a big needle. And I have an excellent iron count. Yes!