Day 976: Germs, be gone!

(From zee 'net) 

This picture is showing a scientist looking at germs. When, in reality, what this image is really demonstrating is how many germs surround scientists. I think (really, my mother thought this up and it made complete sense to me) these germs are the bane of my good health!

I, Jess, used to be the perfect image of health. No need to knock on wood because... since November 2010, I have been sick every. Single. Month. Runny noses. Coughs. All the symptoms I never have when I get sick. I think science/research/progress is making me ill. Literally.

Day 604: Hitting the ground running

I have had enough of my little pity party. The past few days have involved me having minor freak-outs and panic attacks about applying to medical schools again next year. I have resigned myself to the fact that I won't be getting in and it sucks. A lot. After accepting the suck-age that is (eventual) rejections from 18 schools, I have decided to cancel my reservation for a pity party of one and, as the title of this post says, hit the ground running.

I walked into my principle investigator's (that's fancy research words for "boss") office and asked him flat out if there was anything I could do. I was avoiding his awkwardness and "well, you don't know anything" talk for the past week because I didn't want to hear it. You know what? That was pretty much his response. "You've been here for a while and you haven't really learned anything." "You should ask the other people in the lab if you can help them." Et cetera. And you know what, rather than feel bad and dejected about being such a "failure" in his eyes, I just stared right back at him and I said, "you're right. I haven't learned how to do any surgeries on my own but I have been able to participate in them and I know how to do X and Y. I was hoping you could provide me with some reading so I could see what we could do in our lab and see if I could start helping out more." I fully accepted my weaknesses and was actively trying to improve them. So now, I am not afraid of being called out but annoyed at his inability to help.

So. The new plan is. Get reading. Find something to do. If Dr. Z continues to be disdainful of my presence, then my time can be better spent...elsewhere.

In other news, I submitted an application to volunteer at a homeless shelter. I'm looking up phone numbers to start cold-calling doctors I could shadow. I don't know what has been holding me back, but I'm slowly getting over whatever it is because at this point ... I have to go, go, go.

Day 144: Test results...sort of

I think I just realized how boring this must be for all of you. Tests, studying, blah blah blah. I'll try and be better about making it more personal without laying all my goods out. Sound like a plan?

Anyhoo, the Organic exam was good. I have no idea how I did because there's always the inevitability of human error but I felt prepared. I've finally decided how this professors tests. Most professors have you read the book, do problems and ta-da! You know it. When you walk into the test, you've seen it all before. That is not the case with this guy...let's call him Professor Steeler (he's from the Pittsburgh area). He truly tests you on concepts. Reading and doing problems won't cut it. You need to actually understand what is happening in the reaction and why the nucleophile attacks the electrophile and whatnot because come test day, he will throw you a curve ball. And if you're a good hitter, you'll be able to tweak your ability (in this case Organic Chemistry knowledge) to hit the ball (answer the question).

The Physics lab test went fine. He actually tested us on Labs 1, 2 and 3 (instead of only 1 & 2). Therefore, upon his mistake, we have to have another test this week. There is one nice caveat though. He called out some students' names after the test and said "If I called your name, you got above a 90 so you can decide whether or not to take the test next week. If you don't, I will just count this grade as your first test grade." ...he called my name, so that was nice. I don't foresee me taking the test next week since I need to study for my Biology exam on Thursday.

Ooh! Here's something personal...I'm off to New York next weekend! We have a fall break and I think I need to get my butt out of town for a few days to clear my head and not be here basically. It's nothing bad but it'll be a nice break. I get to eat good food and see my wonderful friends and just be in a city that thrives and where I don't fear for my life when it gets dark out (only half-kidding).

So this week, get through it. Study for Biology. The end.

Day 140: Test prep (Organic, Physics Lab)

We're hitting hump day (I've only recently discovered that term refers to Wednesday) and usually once 5pm Wednesday comes, I'm just about home free. However, I've got my second Organic exam on Friday and I've got this dumb test during my Physics lab tomorrow. Blah.

Just wanted to keep you posted that I'm doing tons o' Organic problems, lots of alkene mechanisms (whee!), reviewing my Physics labs and other geeky science things. All things good basically.

Here's a mechanism I need to work on:

Peroxyacid + alkene -----> Epoxide

Day 097: The first day of the fall semester

Today wasn't bad. I had Physics, Organic and (hopefully, if I can add it) Bio lab.

Nick is not a fan of our Physics teacher. He calls him "Grandpa". He's got a southern, old, white Grandpa feel to him and that would be okay if he didn't seem rather, well, decrepit. Not physically, but mentally.

Huh? What?

He doesn't seem all there and I don't want to make him sound loosey-goosey so much as just ... not having all his marbles. He doesn't come with prepared notes to class and just writes whatever on the board and, quite a defection from my Chem 2 professor.

Organic was good. I was incredibly wary about the professor because his Rate My Professor ratings were not so hot. However, an SIP co-worker/friend said he was pretty chill and class was ... direct. Which I appreciated. He has an aversion to cell phones ringing in class and cheating (good things). He was a drop-a-test policy (also good). Class is only fifty minutes, four times a week and Nick (who sat in with me even though he's in another section) was wary about 50-minute tests (he needs all the time he can get, plus some) ... I think it'll be good. I'm hopeful. Here's to hoping my hope doesn't die :P

Lastly, Bio lab was wasteful. They had an assessment test at the end of lab today and let me tell you, I was pretty pitiful. They asked questions about xylems and phloems and carnivores and haploids and meiosis and yeah, it was bad news. They said it wasn't graded and whatnot but I realized I'm going to be paying lots of attention during Bio :)

And that is all. I hope you all enjoyed this scintillating recollection of today's classes. ;)

Oh, I also manned the SIP booth for a little and that was enjoyable. I'm really liking the program and the people and am extremely glad I decided to do it.

Day 072: The aftermath of chemistry

It's over. So very over. The final was long. Longer than long. The group and I were under the conception that the final was going to be something that covered more conceptual information and that if you really wanted to improve your grade, the final would be your chance. Wrong. We decided that if you didn't know it before, hopefully you learned it for the final because it was very calculation heavy and just longer than anything.

For me though? It was fine. I didn't go over it as thoroughly as I have previous tests just because I was so sick of it after going through my numbers the second time around. I would have had to screw up big time to lose my A so I'm very whatever about it.

The long convoluted formal lab report I did? It actually turned out really well. I think when I'm more apathetic about stuff (but still on point, does that make sense?) and just plain sick of it and ready to turn it in, that's when I do my best. Haha. I spoke to my lab instructor about it and she said that I may walk out of lab with an A+ ... which would just be absurd. She was great though. She pointed out that she wasn't giving anything to me and that I earned it and that's always great to hear.

So I have more thoughts and such but maybe I'll blog about those while I'm on vacation! I'll be home in California for two glorious weeks and I'll blog more about feelings and thoughts and fears and I know, you're all just titillated by the thought. ;)

Basically,

Disclaimer: I do not watch this show. I just thought Zanessa
would best demonstrate the sheer joy that I have about
26 days of vacation/no school. So yes, scream & shout!

Day 045: The first test of Chem II and a freak out

I had my first test yesterday.

It was an extremely fair test. If you understood the material, you were pretty much set. He also offers extra points on test (as a way of getting extra credit) and I think I nailed that so I know that I at least got five points out of a hundred. Yes! Anyway, I think I did okay. We'll have to see how he grades but I feel like I prepared properly (studying, practice problems, etc) so, yeah.

Labs have been going fine. I like that this instructor has her stuff together. She preps thoroughly during pre-lab so that most of the time we get a good sense of what we're getting ourselves into. Do we know why we're doing such and such lab or how it correlates or any of that? No. But that's okay, at least we're doing it with some instruction.

In other news, I had a minor freak out the other day when we were learning about hybridization (it has to do with how electrons of different atoms bond together) because I didn't get it right away and the professor zoomed past it like he was in a sports car on the 17-mile drive. I was freaking out.

How carbon and hydrogen electrons form methane (riveting, I know)

Thank goodness for the Fantastic Four. Chris helped me figure it out and Michael (bless his heart) was trying to help me but he has a way of teaching in a demeaning tone sometimes so I was pretty frank with him when he was "teaching" me. "Michael, I know you want to help but you like to tell me everything I don't need to know about things and right now, I just really need to understand what's going on with all this orbital hybridization, ok?"

After two hours, I finally had a grasp on it. Luckily, I had Tuesday and Wednesday to solidify the material before our test yesterday and I gotta say, I finally get it. It is always, always a gratifying experience to overcome a mental block on stuff so yay hybridization!

Day 028: Final clarification and the end of lab!

Professor Shazam clarified things today.

Since he is sprinting to the end (a chapter a day), on the day of the final, everyone will be taking a test.

Instead of giving us a quiz everyday (as he intended), people with a 90 or below are going to take the final (Chapters 1-10). People with a 90 or above will be taking a test on chapters 7, 8, 9 and 10.

So, I don't really have a choice of taking a test come final day. It's not really a problem but I'm in this weird state.

We're rushing to the end and I'm not feeling stressed out. I think I am, but I'm not feeling it. I'm rather apathetic about things. Not in a Jessica's-being-lazy way, more like Jessica's-getting-her-stuff-
done-but-doesn't-feel-like-anything-is-processing way.

Whatever.

Anyway, today was the last day of lab. The bobblehead instructor decided not to give us tomorrow's lab so we're done. We have labs to turn in on Thursday but there are no more new labs. Huzzah! The bobblehead is out of my life! All I have to do is finish these labs and then life will be good.

Oh yeah, and the test tomorrow (did I forget to mention that?) and then the quiz on Thursday and then the other test on Tuesday and then I'm done.

And then Summer Session II starts next Thursday.

...yeah.

Day 022: Second test results and titrations

My lecture professor was on his game yesterday. He graded all of the tests and handed them back today.

I got the multiple choice wrong, as I expected, but I got everything else right so another A. That was really gratifying because I studied a lot with my friends and just like test numero uno, I felt over-studied. Which really just means come test day, I was ready to just take the darn thing.

We've been doing more real labs which is pretty sweet. Lots o' science happening.

In regards to today's lab, I think if someone told me that titration was going to be such a hassle, well, I would have told them to suck it up. But it really is a huge hassle. Chris and I did about four titration test runs before we said "screw it" and went ahead and did what needed to be done.

Chris was all ready to make a joke about the stopcock.

Honestly, who the hell would have thought that one freaking drop would make a difference between faint pink (which is the desired result) and bright-look-at-me pink (which means you've gone past the endpoint and just about driven off the bridge). I mean really.

Day 021: The second test and then some

This test was quite a doozy. It was a lot of information to deal with and regurgitate and all that good fun but it went fine. I made an annoying multiple choice error and those are pretty much you know it or you don't. And it was a toss-up between B or C and of course I picked the wrong one. Bah! Overall, I think I got the rest of them so we'll wait and see.

I had a meltdown in lab today because my California lab partner (let's call him Chris) and I screwed up. We fixed it, eventually, but I was having a serious panic attack because there's a difference between slight error and huge f-up, you know? Luckily things worked out in the end.

This is the perfect segue into how much the Enforcer sucks.

Hmm, I wonder how many significant figures are in the word "soup"?

She's a despot about stupid pointless crap (like maintaining significant figures) and so I did fine on the first lab and so-so on the second. Since labs are all I have ... well, now I need to talk to that bobbing idiot to make sure I have my reports together. So, in case I haven't actually stated it, she sucks. And I do not like her. However, one must triumph and prevail and whatever crap people say when life throws you really annoying curve balls.

I made another post-bacc friend, Michael. He's also from North Carolina, married with kids, and he's going to be a dentist. He's great because we're kind of on the same scientific memorization (or whatever you want to call it) level so it's good to work with him because we keep each other in check. All in all, I'm feeling good about my post-bacc friendships and new study circle :)

Day 010: Professor and "Enforcer" thoughts

I don't like either of my instructors very much.

The shouting Middle Eastern man continues to shout and be rude and rather douche-y. The bobbing lab "enforcer" is really not kidding when she tells us "I am not supposed to teach you. I am to enforce what you've learned."

Why you ask?

Well, when she was teaching us valence electrons, electron bonds, Lewis structures and the like, she taught us the wrong thing! Can you believe that?!

The yellow circles are the valence electrons

She had to come to each of our lab sections to direct us to a page in the book that told us the correct information because she "misspoke" during pre-lab. What. The. Hell.

Although if I had to pick, I maybe like her a sliver better than the yelling man. Truthfully, I'm just thankful for a lab partner I can joke around with, some class eye candy and chemistry book that actually makes sense and doesn't shout at me.

Day 003: My first real lab

NOTE: I won't update every day, I feel like that might be too boring. Is it? I may just, it'll provide me with something to do. Let's see how it goes.

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Today was our first real lab. It was really odd because the instructor didn't go over any of the procedure stating "I feel like it really dumbs down the student and the process." Um, ok. Well, it doesn't help us when the procedure isn't written clearly (say in numerical steps) and then you proceed to get terse with my lab partner because he didn't follow the instructions you didn't give.

I can just tell she's going to be a handful. A whole bobbing handful.

Overall, the lab was fine. Density, water displacement, unknown matter, you know, typical chemistry stuff.

Class was fine. The professor STILL SHOUTS.

I'm sitting ten feet away from you. Not ten million.

He's actually a little mean. He enjoys asking students questions, such as "when you lose an electron, the atom becomes an anion right?" And then when they nod in response, he smiles/laughs because he tricked you. (The answer's actually a cation.) He likes to trick students to see if they're paying attention or just nodding to get rid of him. Mm, I don't find it that amusing. It's kind of a waste of time to be honest.