I realized today, the core group of friends I have here, are not really friends. We were friends throughout the summer and now...I'm a blip on their radar. It certainly didn't occur overnight and I think I did what I always do (which is pull out of these situations before I can get hurt) which may have abetted the situation. However, it didn't help because it still sucks.
Everything feels incredibly strained when we're together and I feel like I'm forcing myself upon them. At this point, they've stopped being friends and are now somewhere between acquaintances and friends. I'm not included in any outings anymore and it kind of sucks.
Therefore, my return to California now seems imminent and necessary. Come July 31st, 2009 -- I am driving me and all my stuff back to sunny California and getting out of this hellhole called North Carolina.
learn something. I mean, what a concept! Huzzah for the possibility of learning! I just have to get through this class (and the final) and then I'm going to go home and teach myself what I have not learned these past 13 weeks.