Day 1353: Deserved suffering

Okay, so I know some people will yell at me for blogging at all this week. But I have to get this out.

I have had two exams so far this week. The first one was okay (but I still did poorly) and the physiology exam yesterday was awful. A pie full of 'aw', awful. While walking to one of the hospital cafeterias this morning at 4:17am (I am not kidding), I realized something. I have been coasting in medical school. I sit on the internet half the day perusing fashion blogs, following pop culture, sometimes-shopping-sometimes-not, looking at stocks to invest in, and anything else that involves procrastinating. I think I have been waiting for medical school to get easy. Or interesting. It is certainly not getting any easier and I am discovering that my interest is in the big picture of medicine and not the teeny-tiny details these people are obsessed with. But. I realized I can't play by my rules, I have to play by theirs (and by theirs I mean all of medical school, everywhere).

So. Because I royally screwed up this week (don't worry mom and dad, it's nothing I can't fix. This is something very fixable), I am earning my A on my cell tissue biology test tomorrow. I stayed at school last night. I think I fell asleep from 1am to ...3:45? in a little chair in one of the 24-hour-study-rooms. I'm not actually sure when I woke up. I wasn't planning on staying so I have no food with me, hence the cafeteria run at 4:17am (which, by the way, they were closed! The ONE hour they are closed and, of course, I walk the five minutes to get there. I went back at 5:17am to eat an omelet and toast. HEAVEN.)

I am going to finish learning the other half of lectures by 7:30am (even with this blog post). I am going to finish learning everything by 11am note: I will finish everything by...12:30ish. I fell asleep. Which is probably good since I was doing this:

Courtesy of a Google search.
In case it doesn't animate, click on the image to see what I was doing.

It's okay. I am feeling good so far. The plan is still the same for the rest of the day--review, I am going to review all freaking day...realistically until 3 or 4pm. Which is when I will go to the gym, finally go home, pay my rent, shower, and actually feel prepared for the exam tomorrow.

I am very upset that this week has not gone how I want. However, if anything is to be gained from this sh!t show, it is that I made these mistakes early this semester so that I still have three more blocks/exams to bring everything back to where it needs it be and to feel like I may finally have a handle on medical school.