Friday, January 24, 2014

Day 2833: I don't know where the time goes

I feel like I just wrote my blog post yesterday and I feel like I just had my New Year's Eve fun two days ago. I honestly don't know how this month is almost over.

Today, I met up with my Step 1 group. Have I told you about this? I (along with two classmates) am mentoring/guiding second-year medical students about their upcoming board exam; giving them tips about what to look out for on the test, ways to remember stuff, etc. It's crazy to me that I was in their shoes just last year, and what's crazier is that I actually remember stuff. If only I hadn't let the fear of my future paralyze my ability to hold information in my brain. It feels overwhelming still, to study for Shelf exams (more standardized exams, at least this time they are about one focused subject, such as internal medicine or psychiatry), but it's nice to have these sessions where I am reminded that a) I do actually know something, and b) I have actually progressed.

Being in the hospital is great because I interact with patients and feel way more like a pretend-doctor than I have so far. It's also tough because I am constantly reminded of how little I know. I have a long way to go, and I am learning now why that is. If I could learn all this stuff in two years, and know it, well, anyone could. Everyone could be a doctor in two years. The 7+ years of training that physicians go through (medical school and residency) is for a good reason. You have to know this stuff in-and-out before it's time to actually have the responsibility of other people's lives on your shoulders. It's scary, but cool to know that when I am five years into my MD, you can actually trust me to know something. Have no expectations before then though ;)