Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Day 2824: Hello 2014!

...14 days later.

I am currently on the first of my two-months of internal medicine. And. Surprisingly. I love it. I am currently on the hospitalist service (a hospitalist is someone who takes care of emergency-department-admitted patients in the hospital. They do zero time in the clinic/outpatient setting) and I really enjoy it. I didn't think I would like in-patient anything, but I was surprised by the continuity of care. I also like the diverse patient population (young folks, old folks, weird diseases I learned about in pathology but didn't think were real, exacerbations of chronic issues like diabetes). And the hours aren't awful either (the hospitalist service where I work/learn are two weeks on, two weeks off).

I had an epiphany last week that I might want to ditch family medicine for an internal medicine-pediatrics combined residency. It is a four year residency (compared with the three-years it takes for family) and I would be double-boarded (aka certified) in internal medicine and pediatrics. That means I will be supah smaht and can work in whatever field (inpatient or outpatient settings) and with whomever (kids or adults or both) I want. Sounds pretty sweet, huh?

In addition, I am learning that I like my free time. I like being able to sleep (in). I am also learning that I work to live, not live to work. I want to enjoy my work, don't get me wrong, but I don't want it to a) define who I am as a person, or b) take over my entire life. And I worry that urology, at least the five-year surgical 80-hour-work-week residency, may not be it for me. I hear attending life (life after residency) is good, but I am having a truly difficult time looking beyond those five years. Those five years will be marriage and baby-making time if I have any say in it! And a surgical residency is not the time to be planning weddings and popping out fetuses...or at least I don't think it is. I don't know. I really don't know. All of this is a lot to think about and I still have to learn stuff that I am constantly forgetting and I still have to be awe-inspiring. Ugh. I'm going to bed.

Talk soon. xxx