Day 2940: Welcome to night float.

Today (now) begins my week of nights. 5pm to 7am. We are the cross-cover team, which means we manage everyone's patients during the day ... but at night. Basically, we make sure no one dies overnight. Heavy stuff.

I will be up close and personal with my intern, who, honestly, I am not the biggest fan of. It's fine, because we work fine together. She just doesn't know I abhor her very existence. But really. This is fine. Work, like life, is like a box of chocolates -- you never what you're going to get. So, since you bit in to the gross chocolate, you better eat it all up because it's wasteful. So, clearly this analogy translated well to humans and teamwork, haha.

Anyway, keeping you all apprised. Talk soon.

Day 2928: Life is not ideal.

Sometimes you stay later than you should, or have too much to do when you need more time, or have too little to do when time is the last thing you want to have. I have been trying, every day, to acknowledge this stress, anger, sadness, disappointment, whatever it may be that day and recognize it is okay to feel this way. Life is not ideal. I am never going to get everything I want. Nor should I. Getting everything you want makes you that person. The spoiled one. The one who throws money at problems and actually "fixes" them. It's the struggles and hard times that make life worthwhile. You learn more about life, and more importantly, you learn more about yourself.

So, here's to emotions. To the stress of having to do well on boards in two months. To my anger about situations and people I cannot control. To the sadness of important (or what I thought was important) relationships changing, ending even. To disappointment in people that should never let you down. Whatever it is, I am reveling in the emotion and letting it go. I am a naturally angry person and I don't want to be that way anymore. I'm still going to be the snarky, judgmental woman who has no filter that you all love and adore. But I'm not going to be so angry, so vitriolic, so hateful. It's not a good place to be and I can't love all of me if I'm finding a way to hate you.

Day 2922: New month, new rotation.

Hello everyone! I greet you on the brink of my final third year rotation! Holy mackerel! It's almost over!

I start my inpatient pediatrics month tomorrow (Friday). It will be an arduous month, with 50+ (70+ some weeks) work hours but it will be a great learning opportunity. Kids are fun! And scary! And everything in between.

Inpatient pediatrics will help me decide if I want to do med-peds (aka adult-and-child medicine) or solely medicine. I will be applying to medicine programs either way, but it will be nice to know in a month's time if I want to do only medicine or if I want to take care of patient's across the spectrum of age.

Gosh, I am so boring. All I do is update you with banal facts. Here's to dullness!