Thursday, July 3, 2014

Day 2985: A year and a reflection

One year ago today, I started my first-ever 24-hour shift. I was young and bright and so excited to finally be in the hospital. It was a long night, filled with lots of coffee and scrub-wearing, but I survived. 7am July 4th 2013 arrived and I chatted with my friends who were on for that shift about how my night went.
Friends: How did it go last night?
Me: Good! I delivered a baby!
Friends: Seriously?!
Me: Yes! It was crazy! And slippery! Okay, I'm exhausted. Have a good shift you two!
I went home that morning, slept until 11am, and tried to bake this for July 4th festivities. It failed and I burst in to tears. Clearly sleep deprivation made my emotions even more labile.

That would be the first of various 24-hour-calls, night shifts, and 6-7 day work-weeks. In a journey that has brought out a great deal of shouting, screaming, crying, and doubting, this past year has provided me with solace from all the dubiousness. I feel at home conversing with patients, wearing the short white coat, playing the role of doctor. It is equally frightening and exhilarating to realize that in less than one year (315 days to be exact), I will no longer be playing a role. I will actually be a doctor. This past year has shown me that I am capable of being one. I have a considerable amount of knowledge to acquire, but that's why there is residency. Some real responsibility with some much needed supervision and even more education.

I look forward to my final year of medical school. It is a year of no exams (except my pesky final two board exams), learning for the sake of learning, and a lot of practice at "playing doctor." I will keep you all posted, as always.

And, I can only express my deepest gratitude for your support these past three years (and earlier for most/all of you). It has done more for me than I could ever properly put in to words. I hope to show you all that gratitude in the coming months.

All my love!


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TWO MONTHS ZERO POSTS. Why are you doing this to us? :(