Monday, September 27, 2010

Day 860: Sometimes I amaze even myself...

...with how stupid I can be.

For those that have heard this story before, thank you (for the umpteenth time) for allowing me to freak out.

I am interviewing at a medical school in New Orleans next Monday (yay!). I received the invite two weeks ago while I was at my Philly interview. I needed to reschedule my NoLa interview so I called them whilst on a break from my Philly interview. The woman on the phone said, "All right Jessica, you're all set for October 4th. I await your return email." Well, being me, in all the hullabaloo of rescheduling my NoLa interview and being at my Philly interview and flying home (it sounds like I'm making excuses, which I am), I completely and utterly forgot to email the NoLa school back. Everything's fine, right? Sure, sure. Except for the tiny detail where it states explicitly in my interview invitation, "you must email us within five days of the receipt of this email or your spot will not be guaranteed." %*$@!

I realize this fact on Saturday (a little under two weeks after I receive this email, I reiterate %*$@!) and am so lucky (note the sarcasm) to get 36 full hours to flip the heck out. I don't think you understand how much I drained myself emotionally. After this realization, I went swimming with my friend, came home and literally forced myself to sleep at 7:30/8pm. I didn't want to deal with my parents' disappointment (and further reminders of what a seriously dumb piece of crap I am) so I went to sleep. I just needed Monday to get here so I could speak to someone at the Admissions office and see if I needed to shoot myself in the foot in order to move on with my life.

Luckily, I called the Admissions office today and everything is okay. The same woman said again, "okay Jessica, no problem, we'll see you October 4th." And that's that.

I tried really hard this weekend to talk myself down from my freak out, knowing full well I had done everything I possibly could until Monday. Nevertheless, it was brutal. I haven't felt so worthless and hopeless in a long time. It's nice to know those feelings are like riding a bicycle. They just come back and you ride them out as if you were an emo teenager yesterday.