Day 2245: Ready for the end

Hey everyone,

Just a quick quick quick update to tell you...

1. My pathology exam last Thursday (April 4th) went fine. I would have liked a better grade but when questions are phrased as such: "A 32-year-old woman comes in to your clinic with infertility issues. You do an extensive workup that comes back essentially negative. What is the MOST LIKELY diagnosis?" ...You pretty much do an eenie-meenie-miney-moe situation and hope for the best. I blame the lecturers because you know I knew my urology stuff (kidneys, bladders, genitalia).
2. My micro exam is tomorrow morning at 7-bloody-45 in the morning. Look, I know a number of you get up that early or have to be at work at that time. However, how many of you are asked to take a freaking 60 question exam? Therein lies the terrible terrible rub.
3. Can you believe it's already April 9th?! My M2 year is over on May 13th and then it's boardsboardsboards. I can't wait! Not for boards (well, I certainly cannot wait for boards to be over) but rather, I can't wait to stop learning new stuff. I want to "know" everything already so that I can review review review. I'm working on building myself up these next two months to remind myself that I have made it this far and I am my only obstacle for not doing well on boards. And let me tell you, I truly love the idea of being a urologist so I'm going to get passed this fear/self-doubt/whatever BS this is!
4. Have you noticed my love of typing words out in threes today? Hmm, I wonder what that means.

Okay, off to keep all my bacteria straight before bed!

Day 2204: Autopsies, keys and paperwork

Hello everyone.

Monday morning I was called at 7:10am to view an autopsy at the Milwaukee Medical Examiner's office. Of course, of course, I was a complete wreck that morning. I didn't have my school things packed. I didn't have a lunch prepared. I had no idea what I was going to wear (what? A girl has to plan for the cold!). I finally get out the door at 7:52am (I have to be there at 8:15am) only to have to run back in to the apartment for something. Well, in all of my hustle and bustle, I forgot my respirator! Luckily they only sort-of berated me and let me stay to watch the autopsy.

Well, the autopsy was fantastic. There were four cases (a slow Monday). One possible homicide and three "regular" deaths. The one ("regular" death) we watched was of a fellow who died in his bath tub. The autopsy was crazy! It took me an entire semester to chop up (pardon the crassness) a cadaver. These docs did it in 45 minutes or less. And the precision with which they do everything, impressive. What this autopsy showed me was that people have no idea what is going on in their bodies. My bath tub guy had diabetes so his kidneys had shrunk to about half their normal size. He also had a brain tumor! And clear signs of fat/plaques in his arteries! As a classmate of mine put it, how are these people still alive?

Additionally, the doctor/pathologist/medical examiner was high-larious. This is for all my friends/readers in the know. When describing the tools medical examiners use...

...these are the best tools to have. Since we're at the far end of the surgical universe, it feels a little bit like "Firefly" and we have to make do.

How great is that? :)

Here's the kicker to my insane week thus far. In my tizzy of running back and forth from my apartment on Monday, I misplaced my house key! Thank goodness the snow storm hit yesterday (oh, did I forget to tell you there was a snow storm? It's about...10? inches. I'm not sure.) and she went home early instead of socializing with her best friend. I could have been stuck at school until midnight! Luckily I found my key this morning, rather happenstancely. It was in the scrubs I wore to the autopsy. I checked them just in case and my key fell out of the pocket on to my hardwood floor. Clank!

Anyway, my clinical exam and reasoning (CER) class has really been pulling it's punches. Lots of required attendance and prep work and fake/standardized interviews and paperwork! We never have paperwork! I had to make a differential diagnosis sheet and write up the case. I'm not complaining because it was difficult. I'm complaining because I could be studying for next Wednesday's microbiology exam.

Sigh. Such is my life. Stress study stress study. Rinse. Repeat.

Until next time!

Day 2198: Exam results & urology shadowing

Hey there.

Psych on Tuesday was somewhat of a complete hydrogen bomb of badness. I went in, made a bunch of educated guesses, and when my score popped up after the exam, I swear to you, I had to hold in a yelp of disbelief. I have no idea where I went so wrong. ...let me back up. I only studied the 7 lectures of psych on Monday since I had more important things to study for (neuro pathology on Wednesday). So, my grade is completely justified. However, that score stressed me out beyond belief. It also pissed me off to no end. Therefore, I used those two emotions to study my butt off for neuro-path the next day.

The next day, Wednesday, 9 am, neuro-path. For those of you that have memories like elephants, neuroscience was a subject I took last spring semester (aka this time last year). I failed my first exam. It was pretty debilitating and it was probably the umpteenth time my sister/mother heard me bawl on the phone about my apparent lack of intelligence and self-defeating doubt concerning my place in medical school. Well, I got my act extremely together that semester and ended neuroscience with a solid pass. Back to pathology, that test was a mind-swirl. I was between 2-3 answers (out of 5) on about 15 questions. I thought it out, wrote a bunch of stuff out and made educated guesses. Since we all saw how well that turned out on psych the previous day, you can imagine my stress levels going through the roof. Well, I got a 92 on that exam.

I should be cheering. Instead, I am blogging, trying to figure out why I can't revel in that obvious win. Did psych really screw with my mind that bad that I can't even believe in my abilities? I have been so screwed up the past few weeks. Family life is stressful. (Apparently both of my parents think all I do is nothing but have tons of fun, and they chastize me for it. If only I could physically demonstrate and properly verbalize the amount I study/my stress levels to them. Then maybe they would leave me the hell alone, or I don't know, believe in me.) My sister is the only sane one left. I am constantly, overwhelmingly stressed out by the prospect of boards every waking second. I have a lot on my mind all the time and I have a lot of negative energy and bad ju-ju I need to let go of. I want to do urology so bad. I have never wanted anything more in my entire life.

Speaking of urology, I shadowed the residency director here at school after my exam and it was jaw-droppingly amazing. He created a new bladder. Ta-da! The patient had bladder cancer so the cancer doc took out the bladder, and the urology doc created a new one from the small intestine. Then he inserted the ureters and urethra and ta-da, a new bladder was born. It felt a lot of sewing/seamstress-ing which we all know I do a lot of. It was so freaking cool. I nearly fell off my step-stool at how much fun it was, and I was only watching. Can you tell I am in love with this specialty? (I know, I know, I owe you all a "why urology?" post. Coming soon. I promise/hope.)

Hopefully this post compensates for my utter lack of posting in February thus far. I keep promising pictures, but I truly promise that my next post will be pictures. There is nothing I hate more than broken promises.

Day 2191: A few updates

Okay, it's official people. I love people's junk (aka genitalia). I think urology is really for me. What I'm loving about it is the interesting cases, the (surgical) procedures and the fact that all the doctors I have met in the urology program here at my med school (from residents to attendings) are all truly fantastic people.

What else? My new microbiology course is awful. The professors are terrible and dry, the material is all letters and numbers. IL-2, IL-17, TNF-alpha, IFN-gamma, etc etc. I remember seeing some of these words, if one can call them that, a million years ago when I did neurosurgery research back at Stanford. This class is going to be a huge pain in my ass. However, the silver lining to this dark dark cloud is that there is no cumulative final! Let us all praise Jesus and jump for joy!

Oh. I guess I should wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day. I don't really like the sentiment of this day, for a number of reasons, but I do believe it is important to express love and gratitude to all six of my readers because it means you care enough about me to take time out of your day to read about the boring annals of med school. So, thank you for your time, your love and your friendship.

I have my psychiatry (of which, I have never been to one lecture this block nor have I looked at the lectures) and pathology next week. A micro quiz this Friday/tomorrow. A possible extra-credit autopsy for pathology tomorrow (they will call us at 7:30am to let us know we have to show up at the Medical Examiner's office by 8:15am). Fun fun fun.

Day 2168: Tests and tracks

I got B4! Here is my schedule for next year:

• July 1 - August 15: Obstetrics/Gynecology
• August 16 - September 30: Psychiatry/Neurology
• October 1 - October 31: RPM (anesthesiology, emergency medicine)
• November 1 - November 30: Family medicine
• December 1 - December 23: Vacation/Elective (hopefully urology!)
• January 2 - February 28: Internal medicine
• March 1 - April 30: Surgery
• May 1 - June 30: Pediatrics

My pathology exam was awful. Everyone thought the test was infinitely harder than it should have been and this is why I hate med school exams. They test you on the most minute crap that is not covered on our board exams. Why would I bother learning it if I won't retain it a) anyway and b) for the actual exam that matters? Ugh. I didn't do horribly on the test. I would have liked to do better but seeing as how I could have failed (it was that hard), I'm pretty happy with my grade.

Anyhoo, I'm at research right now. Chatting with my boss about the direction of healthcare, talking about his stint on TV (telling people how to avoid frostbite) and chatting with the research assistants. I enrolled more patients today so that's exciting! Getting people for our study and using mi español.

Day 2163: Lots of cool stuff.

I had such a great week, let me tell you about it!

Monday: I worked in the pediatric emergency department, where I do research, and actually, finally, enrolled a patient without something wonky happening. For whatever reason, I have the strangest luck when I go in to do research and a patient will have to be un-enrolled in our Spanish Interpretive Services study. Not only did I enroll one, but I also got to speak Spanish! He was very sweet and said I didn't need the interpreter and I told him that I like having him/her there to make sure I don't mess anything up. Also, one of the doctors on the study was working that night so we got to catch up and shoot the sh!t and all that fun stuff. It's cool to be friendly with the ED staff. Hopefully I can get a few days in there on my pediatrics rotation next year and impress them with all my actually (wannabe) doctor-ing!

Tuesday: The male exam. An examination of the penis, testicles, feeling for the vas deferens and checking for hernias. Probably one of the most awkward moments in medical school for many students. Not for me! I loved it! It went too quickly! Maybe it's because I like awkward things or maybe it's because I don't care, but I am really digging urology. After my path exam on Monday (which, for all intents and purposes, I plan on pwning (aka kicking butt on), I am going to contact a urology resident and get some more information on it. It's competitive as all get out so I am starting to get insanely stressed about boards. (What's new there though?)

Wednesday: My jeans that I bought (aka split with Danny) off eBay arrived and they are gorgeous!

Paige Porcelain Leaf Skinnies

Only I would love such an outgoing print. And wear it with pride no less. I plan to hem these bad boys on Monday after my exam. Or maybe before since I am so bored of studying blood disorders and leukemias and lymphomas. Have I told you all that I am a sewing machine? (Thanks to Danny for that pun!) I have blind hemmed a bunch of slacks, finally hemmed a bunch of my jeans to my teeny tiny leg length and twerked some bootcut jeans into skinny jeans! However, I screwed up one of the legs of my skinny jeans (the fade between the front and back of the jeans is awkward) and feel uncomfortable in them so I plan on converting those babies in to shorts.

School-wise on Wednesday, I had a boards study group where we reviewed stuff for our exam on Monday and that was helpful. Showed that I knew stuff, but still need to get it locked down. Motivating stuff.

Today/Thursday: Hung out at home. Became obsessed with clothes again (have I told you? I am attempting to save money and/or buy investment pieces (like this silk blouse for rotations next year/interview season the year after that). I am also planning a major closet clean out over spring break.) Purchased my question bank for boards today. Fell asleep for no good reason from 4-6pm. Listened to Pathoma for 2 hours because I was sick of actual reading/writing/learning studying so listening seemed more exciting.

Okay. This little study break/update for you has been fun but it's time to go back to our regularly scheduled pathology studying. Snooze fest. Catch y'all later!

PS! Did you know this is my 400th post?! Crazy!

Day 2149: Happy 2013!

...three days in to it. Ha, how very Jessica of me to be late.

I have returned to school and it is in full swing. It's only pathology this block (and a new course that starts next week called Health Policy, which actually sounds interesting since it has to do with the Affordable Care Act and other related policies) so I am trying to get my red blood cell disorders, white blood cell disorders, etc etc in order.

Home was...something. Most (if not all) of you know the issues that arose whilst I was home. Well, to update you, things got better and then they took a turn for the worst. It's a lot of emotional turmoil that really just pisses me off, so I think I've made some headway as to how I want to deal with it all.

I returned to Milwaukee to get sick after my first night back. Fun, but not at all. After two days of icky, achy-ness (through the new year no less), I feel better. I tackled a little school yesterday and am back at it today. Sigh. Lots of learning, already.

Anyway, here are pictures from my trip home.

M and I went to Christmas in the Park!

Had some major best friend time. Amazing.

Did an ungodly amount of bikram yoga. Hotness/Hot mess.

A rainy Christmas in San Francisco.

Found old photos of me as Annie Oakley. YES.

Went to the happiest place on earth aka Disneyland.

My sister and I hanging out in CarsLand.

Day 2121: Chugging along

Oh hey! Fancy meeting you here!

I am taking another break to blog because the way my life looks right now (see below) would make anyone go crazy.

Anyway, my eye has stopped twitching. I realized a few days later that it was twitching most likely as a result of a slight corneal scratch. I have to tell you, when my eye was twitching, I was convinced it was stress. So, all of Sunday and Monday, I was a sh!tshow (study-wise). The twitching eye felt like a constant reminder of how stressed I was and, as a result, my studying quality was greatly diminished (and my stress level probably increased exponentially because I was so stressed about not being able to study well).

It's okay. In spite of it all, there is, somehow, time in the day to learn drugs. And some pathology. But a very small amount. Right now, it's pharm pharm pharm. Path will start tomorrow (afternoon) at the earliest, and then continue throughout the weekend until my exam Monday morning.

Boring update over. Back to studying. Gym at 10pm with a friend. Rinse. Repeat.

Day 2116: The countdown begins

I feel like this post title will be recycled. I will have lots of countdowns in the next six months, this being the first one -- the countdown to finals/winter break. In the next 13 days, I will have completed my first semester of my second year. I have a pathology exam, CER (Clinical Exam and Reasoning) exam and the dreaded cumulative pharmacology final. At this point, I am taking a much needed study break to blog. Exciting. I know. I am amidst learning the last 100-or-so drugs for Block 4 and then I have about 10 days to review the previous 400 drugs. No big deal. (INTERNAL FREAK OUT IMMINENT.)

PS, my eye has been twitching non-stop for two hours since this post. I need to de-stress/calm down.

Day 2105: Greetings from Southern California!

Hello! After my exams last week, I have taken a bit of a breather to see some friends (my best friend in Indiana to be exact) and take studying a little more slowly in preparation of Thanksgiving (can you believe it's here already?).

Anyhoo, I am currently in my sister's bedroom in her soon-to-be-old-house doing things like this:

I watch these lectures in lieu of my actual pathology lectures because these are wonderful and I have found myself pulling a McKayla Maroney (unimpressed) with how my course has been taught.

Anyhoo, I'll post fun pictures (which I'm sure will continue my mother's (and probably father's) delusions that all I do is have fun and not study) in the near future!

Day 2069: Broken hearts

Hello. I just took my cardiac pathology exam. Ooph. It was okay...at the very best.

This craptastic professor is so detail-oriented! Details would be one thing, but I can tell you, after this exam, I know nothing about cardiac pathology. This woman teaches so poorly, I honestly didn't learn a single thing. I memorized a bunch of crap (lot of good that did me) and it's about to fly out of my brain so that I can study for my ethics exam tomorrow and the big kahuna of an exam (also known as block 2 of pharmacology) on Friday.

I'll be happy passing, because honestly, I have bigger fish to fry...like my 175+ drugs in pharmacology.

Wish me luck!

Edit [12:26pm]: Interim test scores are up. A pass. Okay. I'll take it.

Day 2042: Results plus a couch.

Hello everyone!

The partial credit for my pharmacology exam was essentially nonexistent, so, as anticipated (however disappointedly (which apparently isn't a word according to my red underline courtesy of Firefox)), I passed pharmacology. What I really wanted to was to kill it with a skillet. Oh well. Such is life.

Pathology went gobs better. I don't know what a 90 is, but I'm pretty sure that's above a pass. Whoopee!

Today was given up to me not being ready to study. We have tons more to learn this block, for pharmacology in particular (20 lectures versus block one's 10...eep!), and yet, the motivation is not here it. Don't worry. It'll come back. ...I hope it does anyway... ;)

Oh! I bought a couch. I would link a picture, but the picture on the website is inaccurate. I have a microfiber suede couch, not leather. Anyhoo, a classmate of mine has a pick-up truck and he was kind enough to say 'yes' when I asked if he would help me pick up the couch and move it. So, I think when that is dealt with, I will feel infinitely more ready to study. ...I hope. Haha.

In other news, my darling boyfriend designed a t-shirt for my class/school. He's kind of the best artist ever so my class/school is more than lucky to have his work. I will reveal it in two weeks when everyone else actually receives them.

Okay, I'm off to bed! As my pal Tigger would say, ta ta for now!

Day 2027: Late night gyming conundrum.

I went to the gym at 11pm today last night (apparently it is Thursday and no longer Wednesday). I was pretty tired and worn out from studying and the gym was very invigorating. However, now I am awake, with little desire to study (this is why I no longer gym at 7pm, the rest of my night is shot for studying!) and just not quite willing to go to sleep yet.

Anyway, in other non-gym news, my darling friend Sandy is getting married and she invited me to be in her bridal party! I am honored and so gosh-darn excited for her!

Pathology exam on Friday at 2:30pm. Who tests that late? I should be out shopping for joy (or sorrow, depending on how the exam goes) at that time of the day.

I highlighted my hair. I was going for the ombre hair effect, but the stylist said that it would actually be more maintenance than I thought. I need to take a good picture of my hair and then I will show you all what the new hair looks like.

Oh! They posted the pharm exam answers and it looks like I passed! This "pass" entails me assuming they will give me zero partial credit for my answers and also assuming the answers I got "wrong" were actually wrong and not one of the possible answers they just didn't write down.

Now back to more not-studying-and-not-sleeping. I promise to write a more scintillating blog post next!