Day 2198: Exam results & urology shadowing

Hey there.

Psych on Tuesday was somewhat of a complete hydrogen bomb of badness. I went in, made a bunch of educated guesses, and when my score popped up after the exam, I swear to you, I had to hold in a yelp of disbelief. I have no idea where I went so wrong. ...let me back up. I only studied the 7 lectures of psych on Monday since I had more important things to study for (neuro pathology on Wednesday). So, my grade is completely justified. However, that score stressed me out beyond belief. It also pissed me off to no end. Therefore, I used those two emotions to study my butt off for neuro-path the next day.

The next day, Wednesday, 9 am, neuro-path. For those of you that have memories like elephants, neuroscience was a subject I took last spring semester (aka this time last year). I failed my first exam. It was pretty debilitating and it was probably the umpteenth time my sister/mother heard me bawl on the phone about my apparent lack of intelligence and self-defeating doubt concerning my place in medical school. Well, I got my act extremely together that semester and ended neuroscience with a solid pass. Back to pathology, that test was a mind-swirl. I was between 2-3 answers (out of 5) on about 15 questions. I thought it out, wrote a bunch of stuff out and made educated guesses. Since we all saw how well that turned out on psych the previous day, you can imagine my stress levels going through the roof. Well, I got a 92 on that exam.

I should be cheering. Instead, I am blogging, trying to figure out why I can't revel in that obvious win. Did psych really screw with my mind that bad that I can't even believe in my abilities? I have been so screwed up the past few weeks. Family life is stressful. (Apparently both of my parents think all I do is nothing but have tons of fun, and they chastize me for it. If only I could physically demonstrate and properly verbalize the amount I study/my stress levels to them. Then maybe they would leave me the hell alone, or I don't know, believe in me.) My sister is the only sane one left. I am constantly, overwhelmingly stressed out by the prospect of boards every waking second. I have a lot on my mind all the time and I have a lot of negative energy and bad ju-ju I need to let go of. I want to do urology so bad. I have never wanted anything more in my entire life.

Speaking of urology, I shadowed the residency director here at school after my exam and it was jaw-droppingly amazing. He created a new bladder. Ta-da! The patient had bladder cancer so the cancer doc took out the bladder, and the urology doc created a new one from the small intestine. Then he inserted the ureters and urethra and ta-da, a new bladder was born. It felt a lot of sewing/seamstress-ing which we all know I do a lot of. It was so freaking cool. I nearly fell off my step-stool at how much fun it was, and I was only watching. Can you tell I am in love with this specialty? (I know, I know, I owe you all a "why urology?" post. Coming soon. I promise/hope.)

Hopefully this post compensates for my utter lack of posting in February thus far. I keep promising pictures, but I truly promise that my next post will be pictures. There is nothing I hate more than broken promises.

Day 1970: An update on Guillain-Barre

I actually shadowed the neurologist (from this entry) yesterday and discovered that the patient with Guillain-Barre actually had something called arachnoiditis. Arachnoiditis is a viral infection of the very bottom of your spinal cord (called the conus medullaris). Since it is a viral infection, there are no antibiotics to help the patient improve. However, after running a few tests, it looks like the patient's immune system is doing what it should and he is on the road to recovery. The human body is an amazing thing.

Day 1963: Guillain-Barre Syndrome

I have a good story to tell you all.

Yesterday, I got the opportunity to see a patient with rapid onset lower extremity paresthesia. No, I'm not trying to be douchey and talk doctor talk. I'm showing you all that I actually learned something this year (the doctor talk ;p). Anyway, rapid onset means it occurred quickly, or even rapidly you could say ;) Lower extremity means legs. Paresthesia means weakness.

I shadowed a neurologist for an hour and watched him go through his examination of a patient. What that entails is testing muscle strength, cranial nerves, vision, abdominal stuff et cetera et cetera. Given the patient's symptoms, and how quickly they came on, I thought it could be a syndrome called Guillain-Barre.

Courtesy of Children's Hospital Boston

Guillain-Barre is also known as acute autoimmune inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy. Blah blah blah, words. What it means is that your body attacks the sheath (myelin) around your nerves and you lose sensation and control over your body. It happens slowly but quickly, which means it doesn't happen at once but within a few days to weeks you could be paralyzed. Eep!

Even though the patient's symptoms did not present exactly like Guillain-Barre, it's pretty close and it's one of the ten big diseases neuroscience pushed last semester. I would like to express how utterly pleased I was when the doctor also thought it could be (a variation of) Guillain-Barre. Pleased. Validated. Smart as hell. The whole shebang, I felt it! :)

Day 1912: One more exam, then family vacation!

Jessica is done with 8 out of 9 of her first year medical courses!

Today's neuro exam went well...I think. All I know is I did the best that I could and we'll see how that worked out for me. Check back tonight for exam results! Results are in! 88%! That's more than what I needed to make sure I passed the class. Apparently, hard work is all it takes to do well on exams, haha. Yippee!

What I really want to tell you about is my upcoming family vacation. You've met them, yes?

We're a crazy, hysterical bunch of little Asian people and I love my family to death. Anyhoo, since it is my last summer ever, we are going on a vacation! In one week! To Italy and Greece!

Cinque Terre/Manarola, Italy
Since I was the one who planned the itinerary (while in school, no less)
I made sure to include this beautiful city on our trip!

Santorini, Greece
My sister has wanted to go here since high school so this is
going to be a huge treat for her! And hello! Gorgeous!

I know, I know, I am incredibly lucky. I probably should have posted about this sooner so that you could all give me your recommendations, but alas, I've just been so reticent about talking about this vacation because then I seem so spoiled to be vacationing in Europe, blah blah blah. You know what people. This is my last summer. My parents work absurdly hard for every penny they have. My sister actually has time to go. Lots of things came together for this vacation and I cannot be more excited. Well, I could be, but that's because I have one more pesky final exam. Physiology. Four hours. 137 questions. Oh joy.

Day 1878: Good news, for once!

WHEEEEEEEEEE!

So, my neuroscience exam on Monday went decently. I killed the exam portion but the lab portion came straight out of left field so I didn't do as well because of it. And you know what? I was 110% okay with that. The lecture portion of exams and exam-taking itself have been a true struggle for me these past 8 months and it is nice to know that, for once, I owned the exam portion. I had to close my eyes and breathe a couple of times, while reminding myself that a) I know this and b) I just have to trust myself and my gut, but it was all quite worth it in the end. The score didn't match my knowledge (yet again), but definitely not to the same degree of discrepancy.

Onto the "WHEEEEEEEEEE!" -- I got an 89 on my physiology test! For someone that has been struggling on her last two exams, an 89 is a freaking synonym-for-godsend! Danny has been telling me for months that he believes in me and knows I can do it and it took some good old fake-it-'til-you-make-it to get me to that point where I am actually starting to believe that I can do it. I know, I know. What have you been doing these past eight months, Jess, if not doing it? And to that I would have to say, barely surviving. I have to tell you what a great motivation this is. I mean, not at the moment for my cell tissue biology exam on Friday, but in general. I feel very confident that I am going to do well on my final exams for physiology and neuroscience. Not without hours upon hours of preparation and studying, but I plan to do what it takes to succeed and believe in myself to the absolute fullest.

Yay for good news! And yay to Jess for making it through her first day of bikram yoga teacher training!

More posts on the way!

Day 1834: Live from medical school...

...it's Saturday night (vaguely) and I'm still alive!

While learning neurological things about our senses (taste, touch, smell, vision and hearing), I have decided our brains do some pretty intense stuff to process our sense. I must say, it's interesting, but not so interesting that I want to know where all the nuclei are for my cranial nerves. Does it matter if my trigeminal nuclei (both motor and sensory) are in my mid-pons? No. Do you know why? Read this paragraph, I sound so obnoxious!

These are words medical neuroscience has taught me: lemniscus, colliculus, geniculate, there are more. Variations on a theme really. Lateral lemniscus, medial lemniscus, superior colliculus, inferior colliculus, you get the drift. These are the most recent ones to come up on my list of many things to learn.

Dear medical school (especially neuroscience), if you could give me a super high A on this exam, I swear on my favorite clothes that I will be the best doctor ever. Love, Jess

Day 1346: Colo(u)r

Today's picture: colo(u)r

Now that I am a poor graduate student, I am constantly looking for new ways to still stay fashionable, but on a budget. This entire week, I have been swiping on these two lip colors to mix up my look. It has definitely been noticed by my classmates!

It's just a way for me to still feel pretty when all I do is stare at a computer and learn things like this:

Welcome to the second semester of medical school.

Day 1341: Reflection

Today's picture: Reflection

Studying with the reflection of my window in the screen.

Hello neuroscience!