Day 468: Nearing the big day

My MCAT is in four days. As previously stated, I'm working hard.

I thought it would be important to blog, even though the big day is so close, because my last post was so angry that I didn't think it would be a pleasant last note before the big day.

So, I just finished all my physics homework problems. I have passages to do but 425 physics problems down!

Today is the last day I will be attending my MCAT class. Some of us are going out for a beer (just one!) to say good-bye and good luck and whatnot. This class, I can't say it enough, is really wonderful. Not just because of the great teachers I've had (except for Verbal, which was the biggest waste of my life) but because the class dynamic was really unexpected. We all get along swimmingly and who would have thunk? I mean, it's a class of pre-med (mainly Asian) kids. Those kids are hard-core and can be incredibly unfriendly. Instead, we're all a bunch of random kids who vibe well together and it's really been a worthwhile experience. Also, I think the course in general is what I really needed. I wasn't happy with my first score and I think a lot of it had to do with the improper timing of my first exam, my general state of mind then, and my preparation.

This time, the timing is a little close (my officially ends the day before my exam; my last day is today). However, my attitude has come down off its unrealistically optimistic horse to a sense of healthy realism. I need to maintain the confidence I had at the first test though. This class has made me second-guess myself only in terms of the test questions. Meaning, instead of knowing what I know and sticking to my guns, I start to question myself...well, that was too easy, that can't be right. Which is not the way to do it. I think you really do have to go in there and know what you know and just do it. Plain and simple. No questions, just work with what you have and don't waste time thinking "but maybe." All in all, this class has really prepared me. There were a lot of biology topics I was shaky on (because I've only taken the bare minimum science courses) and this class helped me focus on what exactly I should learn. The class, overall, lives up to its "preparatory" name.

This post turned out to be more reflective than I thought it would. Ain't it always the way?

Day 465: I am so mad I could...

...do something mean. Or bad. Or both.

I went to a make-up MCAT-class. I will not be attending the last class since it is the day before my actual MCAT so I needed to make it up. Well, let me tell you, it was the worst 2.5 hours of my life. The teacher was crude and rude and completely incompetent. I could give care less if you're a post-doc student at Stanford. You're a terrible freaking teacher.

So, today, I am still pissed/annoyed and now I have to relearn the entire lecture. It also doesn't help that he taught me everything incorrectly and now I have to back-track and compare if what he told me agrees with the text (it usually doesn't) and ... UGH! I wish I could express how livid I am. I have less than a week to go and this is the last thing I need -- a ridiculously awkward-wannabe-cool-Asian loser who may be actually be intelligent but it's difficult to see past his vulgar, uninspiring, completely pitiful teaching. As a result, I have to lose precious studying/homework time to relearn the material he so improperly taught.

Day 463: Happy belated birthday...

...to me!

It felt a little like Sixteen Candles except I didn't get the boy at the end. You see, my birthday was spent in my MCAT class. For about eight hours. The MCAT-class-kids were super sweet and they sang me Happy Birthday. My family and I went to The Cheesecake Factory after my class and I proceeded to eat an entire pound of food (thank you Cheesecake Factory Nutritional Guide!). It was excellent. People called and texted me throughout the day which was very sweet. Overall, it wasn't a big deal that I didn't do much for my birthday. I don't really think birthdays (mine anyway) are that big of a deal. I think it's like any other day.

Besides, I have bigger things than my birthday to worry about. Let's talk about my moving teeth. Sometimes, they're all loose-y goose-y and I get freaked out because I have crazy dreams about my teeth falling out. Then I think my worst fears are coming true -- toothless at 22! Also, when they're loose-y goose-y, they hurt.

Oh and my MCAT. I'm taking that sucker next week! I'm stoked. I'm workin' hard to get it together. I remember when I was first signing up for a future MCAT date, and I thought, I want it to be before my birthday so I can have a nice birthday but, to be honest, I don't really think anything big would have happened otherwise. It's kind of nice to have a purpose.

Like I said, just chugging along.

(P.S. I will accept belated birthday posts here and won't judge you if you didn't e-mail/text/call me ;P)

Day 458: I love living at home...

...but it is mad freaking stressful living with your parents and all they ask you is "how was your MCAT prep today?" Usually, it's perfectly bearable. However, as the big day looms, it's not bearable anymore. It is actually aiding and abetting (my stress levels). And last time I checked, that is a crime. Thus, my parents are criminals.

No, I'm totally kidding. It just bothers me how stressed out they get when they don't like how my day went. It gets especially worse when they ask how a practice exam went. I think I know how important the exam is, okay? I certainly don't need anyone reminding me.

So much to learn. And relearn. And review.

Day 450: Meteors, reprieves and fears

To work in backwards-chronological order, there is a meteor shower tonight in the Northern hemisphere and the family and I are staying awake to see it. (I hope we actually see something)

The reprieve I'm speaking of relates to my impending MCAT (and what hasn't related to my impending MCAT lately?). I took a practice exam last Friday (as I have been) and it was a true comfort. I did decently, for once. It was exactly what I needed because after my last post, I was having a minor freakout. I started to obsess over my lack of improvement and then I started to ponder the what-if situations and, as I'm sure you can imagine, I entered into a downward spiral of not-being-good-enough and getting stuck in my own head.

Luckily, the reprieve came and it assuaged my fears. The fear is still there, of course. However, now it is staying neatly behind a fence. It's good to be fearful, to a certain extent. The fear, more often than not, is what pushes me forward. The fear of failure and the fear of not living up to expectations. Those are pretty healthy fears, right?

P.S. I just checked my grade and I got an A in Calc! Phew! I was a little worried about that one. Whee!

Day 444: The end of Calculus!

My multiple-choice Calculus final was today. It came. It went. It may have conquered. We'll see how it all worked out. Let's all be grateful that it's over though, okay?

Me neither cavemen. Me neither.

For those of you wondering why I'm taking Calculus, all of the in-state California med schools require a year of math (to be comprised of Calculus and Statistics). Thus, high-school-Jessica was lied to. She was convinced she would never take math again after high school. Ha! Big fat lie. Luckily, all I have to take is Statistics and Bio 2 and my life will be set.

Now that Calculus is out of the way, I can focus 110% on my MCAT. Also, I can finally tend to my beleaguered personal statement. You know, I didn't use beleaguered properly at all. I just wanted to use it 'cause it's a pretty word. My personal statement is more along the lines of incomplete, haha. I just need to give it the final few touches (and numerous edits) and off my application goes! Yikes!

Also, why is it raining? This is California. We're all puppies and rainbows and sunshine. Not rain in August.