Day 2961: It's all good.

Hey y'all,

Thank you to those who reached out to me regarding my previous post. I am fine. I'm sorry it made you all sad too. It's just strange to me that I have been able to make life-long friends in every aspect of my life (high school, college, post-baccalaureate studies) and yet I cannot seem to make a single G-D friend in medical school. I might have one -- the misogynist. But, as Danny pointed out, this is all up in the air. I may surprise myself with who I keep in touch with. I may actually keep in touch with people. Instead of getting down in the dumps about it (as is my M.O.), he recommends being more open-minded about it. I am trying, but it's much easier to be a Debbie Downer than it is to be Miss I-Love-Life.

I had my first real day of pediatric clinic today and I really enjoyed myself. I saw patients by myself, wrote notes, diagnosed some people. It was a good day. I told an anesthesiologist I met today that I wanted to do med-peds and he was very supportive. It made me feel good to know that in spite of the varied opinions I get from attendings regarding my decision to pursue med-peds, I think it's the right one for me. Now, to ensure that D and I end up in the same place. Battle numero dos.

Day 2864: Where has the time gone?

I am really hoping to ramp up my posting from here on out because 2 posts in the past 62 days (since the beginning of 2014) is a little ridiculous. Also, have two posts in a row discuss time (and how bad I am at it) is another sign of what a bad blogger I have been to you all.

Anyway, I completed my internal medicine rotation on the 28th and...I have to tell you something. I loved it. I didn't think I would inpatient medicine at all (inpatient = I see and take care of hospitalized patients), based on my enjoyment of outpatient medicine (outpatient = seeing a patient in the clinic) and my complete lack of inpatient medicine exposure. But I gotta tell ya, I truly enjoyed it. The cases were varied and extremely interesting. My attendings over my two-month rotation were fab-tacular. I had a great team on wards (wards = students, residents, and one attending taking care of a number of hospital patients), which I contribute to my continued desire to pursue medicine.

I have officially put urology to bed and I will be pursuing a residency in either med-peds (outlined in this post) or solely medicine. It's exciting to know I am moving in the direction of my future, wherever that will take me.

More posts (of varying substantiality and length) to come within the week.

I PROMISE.

Day 2824: Hello 2014!

...14 days later.

I am currently on the first of my two-months of internal medicine. And. Surprisingly. I love it. I am currently on the hospitalist service (a hospitalist is someone who takes care of emergency-department-admitted patients in the hospital. They do zero time in the clinic/outpatient setting) and I really enjoy it. I didn't think I would like in-patient anything, but I was surprised by the continuity of care. I also like the diverse patient population (young folks, old folks, weird diseases I learned about in pathology but didn't think were real, exacerbations of chronic issues like diabetes). And the hours aren't awful either (the hospitalist service where I work/learn are two weeks on, two weeks off).

I had an epiphany last week that I might want to ditch family medicine for an internal medicine-pediatrics combined residency. It is a four year residency (compared with the three-years it takes for family) and I would be double-boarded (aka certified) in internal medicine and pediatrics. That means I will be supah smaht and can work in whatever field (inpatient or outpatient settings) and with whomever (kids or adults or both) I want. Sounds pretty sweet, huh?

In addition, I am learning that I like my free time. I like being able to sleep (in). I am also learning that I work to live, not live to work. I want to enjoy my work, don't get me wrong, but I don't want it to a) define who I am as a person, or b) take over my entire life. And I worry that urology, at least the five-year surgical 80-hour-work-week residency, may not be it for me. I hear attending life (life after residency) is good, but I am having a truly difficult time looking beyond those five years. Those five years will be marriage and baby-making time if I have any say in it! And a surgical residency is not the time to be planning weddings and popping out fetuses...or at least I don't think it is. I don't know. I really don't know. All of this is a lot to think about and I still have to learn stuff that I am constantly forgetting and I still have to be awe-inspiring. Ugh. I'm going to bed.

Talk soon. xxx