Day 745: What? Seriously?

I'm sorry. Tell me again why I submitted so early if the schools won't be receiving my application until June 25th?!

Day 742: Round two, in it to win it!

Applications...submitted.

Let the insanity begin.

Day 739: Shh, shh, don't jinx it!

This has been a weird week. I've been asked to culture cells and I learned to slice brains and I'm almost feeling, dare I say, useful?

Maybe when June arrives, the universe will turn back on it's head. I kind of like this weird, new state where I am somewhat researchly and scientifically knowledgeable.

Also, big news. Submitting applications next week (aka the first week of June)! Ah!

Day 729: Control issues

These are the many websites I have to deal with.

Applying is a long, draining, annoying process. The things I can control--such as filling in my coursework, writing my personal statement, describing my activities--I have. Things I can't--when my transcripts arrive and getting my recommendations from the recommenders--are what's troubling me. I have done everything on my part to call registrars and remind my recommenders, but ultimately, it's a waiting game. Let me tell you how much I abhor waiting.

Day 613: A reopened wound

For every post here on out, I'm going to try and blog with pictures. It breaks up the boring text and provides you all something to look at.

Okay, so you all saw that I had my wisdom teeth out and I looked like a sad chubby chipmunk. Well, two nights ago, sincerely out of the blue, my bottom left hole opened up. I have no idea why or how. And it appears to be larger and not-where-I-remember it being.

Just to warn you, this is gruesome. Some of you may not find it so, but just in case, I thought I would warn you with it's grossness.

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...

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Here it is...

It's like a bull's eye!

I apologize if this is gross but this has been the biggest going-on in my life as of late. I know I haven't posted very regularly but it's because I'm trying to maintain positive-good-vibes Jess and that is much more difficult than I had anticipated. So. I thought I wouldn't blog at all until I had more news.

But since everyone loves to ask (and it makes sense why), no I haven't heard from any other schools. No rejections and no interview requests. This late in the game, I am probably correct in assuming that I have not and will not get into medical school this cycle. I won't sugar-coat it ... It sucks. A lot. I'm moving forward, because really, what other direction is there? If there was a wallowing-in-my-failure option, I would certainly take it.

But, all in all, I'm keeping busy and waiting for doctors to call me back. They probably won't because they're sooo busy, so I'll be following up with them next week.

Day 499: The first of many big days

Hello all,

I am blogging, however briefly, between my class and lab to update you on a few big things.

• First, I love bullet points :p
  
  
• Second, in honor of all the post-doctorate students and/or visiting scholars at my Stanford internship, today is National Day of the People's Republic of China. It's the 60th year of celebration so ... celebrate! (On a more personal note, 10/01 doesn't mean much for me since I am American and all. I do appreciate their excitement though :) )
  
  
• Third, my AMCAS application (aka my med school application) has been processed. (!!! This is the big news !!!) It took them two weeks (rather than the possible 4-6). If only they'd taken another week because then my new MCAT scores would be in.
  
  
• Fourth, first quiz in lab in 15 minutes. I'm heading over there now to be all prepared and in my seat and whatnot.

And I'm off!

Day 491: The first day jitters

I had my first day of class yesterday. I am currently taking the third quarter of General Biology. The class went well enough. I was worried the professor was going to be a bit of a nose-grinder (or any related idiom) from the way the syllabus was worded but she seems very sweet and I think the class is going to go well.

I was worried about having to make friends and whatnot because I'm not really into people but I think it's going to be fine.

I'm having a lot of qualms as of late. I wish I knew what was causing them. I went over the list today in my head as I walked to my internship but nothing seemed to engender the same amount of fear I'm currently feeling. It could be the possibility of a bleak MCAT score which would lead to no medical school accepting me. Which would lead me to have to apply next year to improve my whole freaking life. Or it could be the idea of having to do school again. Or maybe its the possibility that I'm not doing enough (I'm just a big part-timer this quarter), just a little bit of everything which doesn't seem to add up to much of anything. Or...the list goes on.

As you can see, it's become quite easy to drown any sanity and confidence in questions and fears. Le sigh.

Day 482: Big News

I have submitted my medical school application. !!!

Applying is expensive!

In other news, today was my first day back at my internship. It was wonderful to see all the old post-docs but a complete drag to see Dr. Z. He is so great about making me feel completely useless and unwanted. Whatever. You know what I did to stick it to him? I performed a splenectomy on a rat.

Big day, big day.

Day 475: Secondary Issues

I have a quandary.

Most schools, once your application is complete, will send you a secondary application. This secondary application is comprised of essays upon essays about why they should choose you, et cetera, et cetera. Thus, I'm not too worried about receiving a secondary from a school.

My main concern, though, is whether or not I will receive a secondary from any UC (top-tier California state school). Because the UCs are state schools, with limited funding, they only offer secondaries to applicants they are interested in. If they just do a cursory view of my basic stats (GPA and MCAT), then I'm pretty much screwed. My first MCAT score is extremely low when compared to the UC-MCAT-average. If they just do a once-over, then there's no way they'll offer me a secondary (even though my application will say "Pending MCAT scores").

Now, the question is this, should I wait to receive my new scores and then send my application out? Or, should I just hope for the best and send them out now, so that I don't miss the deadline? There are many other issues at stake. For example, the service used to apply to medical schools (AMCAS) has to process your application. What this means is, they have to compare the grades you inputted into your application against your official transcripts. Then they determine your GPA. Because of the processing time (as long as 4-6 weeks during peak application time(s)), I could be okay if I submitted them today. I could also not if they processed it faster. I could also be screwed beyond belief if I missed the deadlines for, oh, all the schools.

What to do, what to do.

Day 472: And then some

I took my MCAT yesterday. I'm quite astounded by how much information I had to know for the MCAT. I'm astounded because they really only tested me on a few select topics. For example, there were no fluids (Physics) questions. And that's quite a chunk of the material one has to know in Physics. I'm sure you can imagine what else they didn't test me on in regards to Chemistry, Biology and Organic. All in all, it went much better than the first go-round and that's all I can ask for. I know my score improved, but by how much, well, we'll just have to see.

I am currently in the process of deciding which schools to apply to. I plan to be as realistic about this as possible. My GPA is decent and I am assuming the lowest MCAT score possible and figuring out which schools to apply to based solely on those two factors. My father is convinced that my liberal arts background will set me apart but I'm not as confident.

It's odd to think this is all happening. My original plan was to take my first MCAT and kick butt and then apply early and be accepted by now. Instead, my plan has been slightly derailed but if I end up at my desired destination (med school), then I guess the journey doesn't matter all that much does it?

I can't decide if I should be hopeful or worried or content. Hopeful that I'll get in with what I've got (my GPA and new-and-improved MCAT score--that will be coming in a month). Worried that I'm applying too late for all these rolling admissions. Or content knowing that I've done everything I can (I'm confident about my personal statement, my activities, et cetera) and it's officially out of my hands when I click "Submit." A lot to process.

Today is my first day of doing nothing and it freaks me out a little. I've been reading (Kurt Vonnegut's "Armageddon in Retrospect") and researching possible medical schools to apply to and that's about it. I just don't know what to do with myself when I'm not studying, haha. It's been a constant state of being, as of late, and I don't know what to do otherwise. Weird, I know.

Day 444: The end of Calculus!

My multiple-choice Calculus final was today. It came. It went. It may have conquered. We'll see how it all worked out. Let's all be grateful that it's over though, okay?

Me neither cavemen. Me neither.

For those of you wondering why I'm taking Calculus, all of the in-state California med schools require a year of math (to be comprised of Calculus and Statistics). Thus, high-school-Jessica was lied to. She was convinced she would never take math again after high school. Ha! Big fat lie. Luckily, all I have to take is Statistics and Bio 2 and my life will be set.

Now that Calculus is out of the way, I can focus 110% on my MCAT. Also, I can finally tend to my beleaguered personal statement. You know, I didn't use beleaguered properly at all. I just wanted to use it 'cause it's a pretty word. My personal statement is more along the lines of incomplete, haha. I just need to give it the final few touches (and numerous edits) and off my application goes! Yikes!

Also, why is it raining? This is California. We're all puppies and rainbows and sunshine. Not rain in August.

Day 410: Happy Independence Day!

Hello my fellow Americans! Happy Fourth of July! Fun question, does England have a Fourth of July?

Moving on, I hope you're all enjoying your freedoms and liberties and all that other mumbo-jumbo that's expoused in our Declaration of Independence :)

This is the first (sort-of) week of my new routine and it's gone quite well. I figured out where to park at Stanford (after receiving a lovely parking ticket from the university, thanks Stanford) for my new internship. Since I see the internship people at least five hours a day, I've already developed small rapports with each of the people there. I've been learning about the research they do and I had the opportunity to guillotine a rat's head the other day (vive la France!) We cut off its head in order to slice its brain to see the effects of our experiment. Too gory? I'll move on.

My calc class is moving at a decent pace. I was worried it would pick up where things left off, and it has in some ways, but it's done so in a way that I can certainly manage. My first test is this upcoming Thursday. I have a test every Thursday (four total) and then the last one will be a final. The professor seems fair enough and he makes cute academia/nerd jokes that amuse me.

Aside from that, my best friend comes home Wednesday (wee!), I need to start working out again (sooner rather than later) and I also need to get my personal statement together. Things to do, things to do.

Day 380: New York, New York

Hello!

I am currently in New York and I have many feelings about it. Probably four, at least.

I'm always amazed at how easy it is to fall back into city life. The subway. Honking cars. Tourists every which way. The walking. The food. Shopping. It's all so ... routine, but in the best way possible.

I've seen a few people already and loved every moment of it. I've only eaten and not really shopped, which is always a good thing. I should get chubby and broke, not well-dressed and broke ;)

My gal-pal Tori and I have had a slow start today but it was all for the better. Rather than work out in her complex's sweet gym, I instead filled out more of my med school application. It's crazy to think that I'm applying. It's all really happening...eep!