Day 468: Nearing the big day

My MCAT is in four days. As previously stated, I'm working hard.

I thought it would be important to blog, even though the big day is so close, because my last post was so angry that I didn't think it would be a pleasant last note before the big day.

So, I just finished all my physics homework problems. I have passages to do but 425 physics problems down!

Today is the last day I will be attending my MCAT class. Some of us are going out for a beer (just one!) to say good-bye and good luck and whatnot. This class, I can't say it enough, is really wonderful. Not just because of the great teachers I've had (except for Verbal, which was the biggest waste of my life) but because the class dynamic was really unexpected. We all get along swimmingly and who would have thunk? I mean, it's a class of pre-med (mainly Asian) kids. Those kids are hard-core and can be incredibly unfriendly. Instead, we're all a bunch of random kids who vibe well together and it's really been a worthwhile experience. Also, I think the course in general is what I really needed. I wasn't happy with my first score and I think a lot of it had to do with the improper timing of my first exam, my general state of mind then, and my preparation.

This time, the timing is a little close (my officially ends the day before my exam; my last day is today). However, my attitude has come down off its unrealistically optimistic horse to a sense of healthy realism. I need to maintain the confidence I had at the first test though. This class has made me second-guess myself only in terms of the test questions. Meaning, instead of knowing what I know and sticking to my guns, I start to question myself...well, that was too easy, that can't be right. Which is not the way to do it. I think you really do have to go in there and know what you know and just do it. Plain and simple. No questions, just work with what you have and don't waste time thinking "but maybe." All in all, this class has really prepared me. There were a lot of biology topics I was shaky on (because I've only taken the bare minimum science courses) and this class helped me focus on what exactly I should learn. The class, overall, lives up to its "preparatory" name.

This post turned out to be more reflective than I thought it would. Ain't it always the way?

Day 465: I am so mad I could...

...do something mean. Or bad. Or both.

I went to a make-up MCAT-class. I will not be attending the last class since it is the day before my actual MCAT so I needed to make it up. Well, let me tell you, it was the worst 2.5 hours of my life. The teacher was crude and rude and completely incompetent. I could give care less if you're a post-doc student at Stanford. You're a terrible freaking teacher.

So, today, I am still pissed/annoyed and now I have to relearn the entire lecture. It also doesn't help that he taught me everything incorrectly and now I have to back-track and compare if what he told me agrees with the text (it usually doesn't) and ... UGH! I wish I could express how livid I am. I have less than a week to go and this is the last thing I need -- a ridiculously awkward-wannabe-cool-Asian loser who may be actually be intelligent but it's difficult to see past his vulgar, uninspiring, completely pitiful teaching. As a result, I have to lose precious studying/homework time to relearn the material he so improperly taught.

Day 437: Almost free (of calculus anyway)

So, I took my last calculus exam today. The final is next Thursday. The test could go either way so we'll just have to see how it went.

My MCAT class is going well. We all get along well, some more than others. There's a group of clique-y (but not necessarily in a bad way) Stanford kids, then some of the older crowd and then there are the few who don't really socialize at all. All in all, we're a good bunch.

I can't wait for my Calc class to be over so I can dedicate all my time to the MCAT. I really want to dominate it.

You know, while encountering a "Julie and Julia" commercial, I thought to myself, you know Jess. If you want this blog to be more entertaining, you should spice it up. Talk more about your feelings. Or something. So, in that vein, I'm going to try and make reading this more interesting. Less update-feel and more good-feel :)

Good-feel: I really want the MCAT to go my way. I think I want it more for me than I do for medical school. Sure, a strong MCAT score will rock all their socks. However, I need the good score to prove to myself that I can do it. It isn't enough when everyone else thinks I can. I have to know I can. And for those of you that know me, "knowing things" is one of my biggest needs.

So, a shift from feelings to doings, I'm slowly getting more focused on how to attack the MCAT. I'm trying to reconcile my prep course's tips and what works for me. When I try their methods, I get all tripped out. When I do things my way, I keep thinking about doing things their way. It's a fine balance.

Lastly, we're in about week 3 of the course and I'm still a little annoyed at how I keep missing x-number of questions. I think it's because my prep-course peers and teachers make it seem like, eventually, I will only be missing one or two questions per passage. So, in that regard, I'm trying to not think too much about anything and just work with what I have. I think that's it. I'm getting too influenced by the strategies and possibilities that I've lost sight of my original, pre-first-MCAT mentality -- which was to know what I know and rock it out.

Hmm, interesting.

Day 429: Lots of changes!

It seems my work load has grown exponentially. No, seriously. I started my new MCAT prep course this weekend and I have enough books to knock someone out. Lots of passages and questions and reading. I am taking calculus concurrently and after a shameful/dismal/depressing/shockingly bad grade on Exam 2, I decided something had to give. And what gave? My internship.

Dr. Z was incredibly understanding about giving me some time off to focus on my calculus class and impending MCAT.

Oh, and I got these puppies.

Doesn't this remind you of awkward teenage-dom?

I think I look sincerely like a twelve-year old. I also think I look horrendous. In spite of this, I kind of like them. I like the idea that change is happening. Since my teeth are quite tender at the moment, change is quite apparent (to me anyway). Also, I never realized how unpleasantly crooked and discombobulated my teeth were until they put the braces on.

So, to keep everything straight, I'm on a hiatus from my internship. Instead of running Western blots, I am doing lots and lots of math and MCAT homework. I got braces yesterday (Wednesday).

That is all.

Day 421: Have there really been 421 days?

It's a little weird to think that I've been writing in this thing for more than 400 days! I barely sleep that consistently ;)

Anyway, updates!

• My lab cohorts, 9 1/2 and J-Town, and I are so inefficient and ineffective that our boss has separated all of us and placed us with different lab people.
• I have my second (of four) calc tests tomorrow.
• My best friend is home from Ireland for the week! Jubilation!
• I start my MCAT prep class this weekend. -- You know, I was kind of against this class for some reason. However, upon being signed up for it and registering that I'm really taking this class, I'm rather grateful. It'll be nice to have someone teaching me instead of me teaching myself.
• I realized I only need two quarters of calc and one quarter of stats (for a year of math, total) so once I finish this class, I'm done! (With Calc anyway) ...then, all I have to take is stats and Bio 2. Holla!
  

I think that's all really. Oh. There's one more thing. I'm getting braces. Okbye.