Day 2985: A year and a reflection

One year ago today, I started my first-ever 24-hour shift. I was young and bright and so excited to finally be in the hospital. It was a long night, filled with lots of coffee and scrub-wearing, but I survived. 7am July 4th 2013 arrived and I chatted with my friends who were on for that shift about how my night went.

Friends: How did it go last night?
Me: Good! I delivered a baby!
Friends: Seriously?!
Me: Yes! It was crazy! And slippery! Okay, I'm exhausted. Have a good shift you two!

I went home that morning, slept until 11am, and tried to bake this for July 4th festivities. It failed and I burst in to tears. Clearly sleep deprivation made my emotions even more labile.

That would be the first of various 24-hour-calls, night shifts, and 6-7 day work-weeks. In a journey that has brought out a great deal of shouting, screaming, crying, and doubting, this past year has provided me with solace from all the dubiousness. I feel at home conversing with patients, wearing the short white coat, playing the role of doctor. It is equally frightening and exhilarating to realize that in less than one year (315 days to be exact), I will no longer be playing a role. I will actually be a doctor. This past year has shown me that I am capable of being one. I have a considerable amount of knowledge to acquire, but that's why there is residency. Some real responsibility with some much needed supervision and even more education.

I look forward to my final year of medical school. It is a year of no exams (except my pesky final two board exams), learning for the sake of learning, and a lot of practice at "playing doctor." I will keep you all posted, as always.

And, I can only express my deepest gratitude for your support these past three years (and earlier for most/all of you). It has done more for me than I could ever properly put in to words. I hope to show you all that gratitude in the coming months.

All my love!

Day 2979: I made it!

I took my final Shelf exam of my medical school career today! And it was...fine. Ha! Aren't they always? Who cares? It's over and I am 322 days away from commencement and the coveted MD!

I hope to will make a post in the near future reflecting on this past academic year. Until then -- off to watch some TV, work on some personal statements, and relish my few days off before I start studying for my final two board exams of medical school! Ahhhh! The future is now!

Day 2788: Can I Kick It?

I instruct you to be the obeyer
A rhythm recipe that you'll savor
Doesn't matter if you're minor or major
--------

As promised, a second post in December! Praise be!

Yesterday, Day 2787, I met with the clerkship director of urology. He is an honest man, which is something I appreciate more than a good serving of fries. I went in with my transcript, my Step 1 score, my extracurriculars, and said "Do I have a shot?" (Actually, I wish I said that. I think I actually said "I wanted to meet with you to get an idea of what my chances are of doing urology" or something in that vein.)

He was not terribly impressed. But, he didn't shut me down either (like he has another classmate, per rumor on the street). I have worked (aka shadowed) him before and he seems (shocker) to remember me and (bigger shocker) like me. He said that he would have liked to see more As on my third year transcript (I have more Bs than As thus far (no more twirling Ariels since this post)), but said that if I could do well on my final three rotations (the big, important ones that I get tested on for my next board exams), I should be fine. "Fine" meaning he laid out what I need to do to be considered.

1. Improve significantly on Step 2 CK.
2. Get As in the rest of my rotations, including urology.
3. Do urology research.
4. Do more urology research.
5. Do a sub-internship at my med school.
6. Do an away rotation at a med school of my choosing.
7. Do more urology research.

It's manageable because I say it is. I shan't let it overpower me. I shall learn to overcome. (I went to church with Danny this past Sunday for funsies, do you think it rubbed off on me at all? :P)

So, at this point, I am working towards applying to a residency in urology. Am I actually going to do urology? Who knows? Worse comes to worse, I realize I can't give up 5+ years of my life and I do all that work to do family medicine (something else I also (equally?) enjoy).

Here I am. Still ruminating. Still wondering if I can kick it. Constantly trying to be still.

Day 2787: Inspirations and Ruminations

My two lovely friends have coincidentally updated their blogs on the same day (today!) inspiring me to do the same. This post has been about two weeks in the making with about twelve solid minutes of writing, here she blows.

Last month/November was my family medicine rotation. I am not sure how much I have talked about my desire to pursue family medicine (it probably got lost in my effervescence about penises urology), but in case I haven't told you, family medicine is on my short-list of careers...right up there with urology.

I had the opportunity to do my rotation in the Northwoods of Wisconsin -- 3.5 hours away from Milwaukee, with only one Asian family in the town where I worked. Surprisingly, everyone was not impressed by my perfect American English or strange almond eyes. Not so surprisingly, everyone was very warm and welcoming. Surprisingly, I really enjoyed working in a small town (of 3,500 people!). I got to do so much. I did every pap smear and pelvic exam on my own. I diagnosed bacterial vaginosis, and treated it no less, on my own. I did my own obstetric prenatal exam. I sutured (7 beautiful sutures) a kid's thumb together. I froze off moles. I injected cortisone into an elderly man's knee. I did a lot. Way more than my classmates did here in Milwaukee.

Even though family medicine is a lot of chronic problems, and people not understanding why they are still obese/a diabetic/have high blood pressure when they don't make positive changes in their life, family medicine is just that. Getting to know a family. In my case, I got to know a 50-year-old daughter and her 80-year-old mother, but that's besides the point. I could reference Joe Blow's mom when Joe Blow came in a week after her for an acute problem. It was really exciting to feel like I knew patients, even though I was only there for three weeks.

It seems the ruminating so far is just expressing how much I enjoyed family medicine and remembering that while I am on my urology rotation. Can you believe it? By 2014, I will hopefully have figured out what the heck I am doing with my life.

I really have so much to tell you all! I think I will stop here and pre-write some stuff to post tomorrow so that I actually have more than blog post for the month of December.

I love you all dearly.

Day 2156: Rotations!

Today my class had a big ol' mandatory meeting about my third year of medical school. It was both very exciting and very stressful.

Exciting: I am one semester away from beginning the most exciting part of my medical education -- rotations! I will be meeting patients on a daily basis and have a small hand in their care! I can't wait!

Stressful: There are 16 possible tracks and I don't know which one to choose.

Let me give you some background information. At most medical schools, there are 9 main rotations -- the Big 3: pediatrics, general surgery, internal medicine, and the Little 6: psychiatry, neurology, anesthesiology, OB/GYN, family medicine, vacation/elective. M3s will tell you to get the Big 3 out of the way. They are the longest rotations (2 months). Surgery sucks so you'll want to get that out of the way. Et cetera, et cetera. However, the administration today brought up a good point -- "it just doesn't matter." (This is the actual video played for us, ha!) Everyone will complete the 9 total rotations by June of 2013 so it doesn't really matter what order you do it in.

The only advice to heed is this: do NOT do what you think you want first, and do not do it last. Don't do it first because you're too green/ripe/new and won't know what you're doing (aka not very impressive to your clerkship director). Don't do it last because you could actually hate whatever specialty you thought you wanted and be scrambling like crazy in the first two months of your fourth year trying to decide on a residency specialty.

So, back to what I was saying about "stressful." I don't have any interest in pediatrics or general surgery. Thus, I don't really care if I get the Big 3 first. I am currently leaning towards family medicine. OR! Newsflash! I think I like urology! I have this weird thing for genitalia (which sounds really awful when you actually type it out) and it could be cool to help treat men and women (yes! Women need urological help too). Also, urology is surgical! Which is also cool. Procedural, people's junk, what more could a gal ask for? I emailed some people today to get some shadowing experience in to make sure I actually like it. More information about urology in a future post!

Oh, speaking of urology, I am performing the male physical exam next week, which has been very icky for my classmates and I am unnecessarily pumped about it!

Okay, so, stress, again. Sorry I get so distracted. Here is an image of what the schedules look like.

I am leaning towards having the Big 3 second semester so that I can get some clerkships under my wing before I impress people in family med and/or urology (my elective). But, track selection is a lottery system so I may not even get it! And! CRAP. With OB/GYN first, I should be able to get time off for the wedding I'm in (in late July) but babies wait for no one to be born! Although, if I got gynecology (aka no babies) for my last 3 weeks of OB/GYN, then I am sure I could get the weekend off. See what I mean about stressful?

All in all, an interesting day! It's too bad my mom had to rush off the phone or else I would have regaled her with stories of her daughter moving towards being a true blue doctor! :)