Day 1205: I am so out of it.

Courtesy of the International Journal of Morphology

Welcome to my life. This is the brachial plexus. (My gosh, I already sound like such a douchey science/doctor-like person. I apologize.) The brachial plexus is a compilation of nerves, arteries and veins right beside your armpit (running down your arm). I can actually name every number and initial in the picture, as well as tell you their functions. Insanity, I know.

The genetics final was fine. The anatomy lab practical (we go into the cadaver lab where the professors have tagged structures (nerves, arteries, veins, muscles, etc; like above) and then the students have one minute per station to identify said structures) wasn't too bad. There were a couple of curveballs but I felt pretty okay-to-good about it.

Today's anatomy written exam (where they throw us clinical questions) was, pardon my French, a bit of a b!tch. I forgot to look over some muscle functions this morning on my way to class (I fell asleep studying last night) and there were definitely a few "what-the-hell" questions on there. I did fine, but I know I could have done better, which is really frustrating me at the moment.

I'm in such a weird place about medical school right now. I feel like I can't quite get a hold on it, so I'm stressing out because I haven't figured it out yet, and then I stress about the amount of information I need to be learning and it's a bit of a vicious cycle. The stress isn't palpable, but it's starting to build and I feel like either crying, sleeping or curling into a ball and trying to roll into the street to die (melodramatic much?).

I just need to find my footing and I'll be fine. I just wonder how long it will take to find some stable ground instead of this quicksand I seem to find myself in.