Day 564: The master of my fate

I feel like I've been very downtrodden lately, and I'm sorry to say this post may be in that vein as well. I just want you all to know that when I write it all out, it helps me actualize and solidify my feelings so I can move past them. So don't think I'm permanently depressed.

2009 has not been very good to me. A lot of it was of my own making. Taking my MCAT too early and bombing it. Taking a month off to gallavant across the country and whatnot. ...which caused me to take an MCAT prep course in late summer ...which caused me to take my MCAT at the end of the testing cycle ...which caused me to apply late which is where I am now. ...Rejected from four schools (I got the Georgetown e-mail yesterday).

It also sucks when things are so out of my control that there's nothing I can do but accept it (e.g., Davis technical glitch). A friend of mine put it so aptly, "it must be really discouraging." Which it is. I know I shouldn't take it personally. A lot of it just came down to timing. I'm just frustrated with how much time and effort I put into it only to be rejected and discounted because I was three months late.

Also, I may be preemptively depressed because I have 14 schools to hear back from. Fourteen. I know. It's a big number. However, three of my rejections came from schools that I had a decent chance at getting an interview for and they all shot me down. This does not bode well for the schools that were definitely beyond my reach. It also doesn't bode well for the schools that I also have a good chance at. So fourteen sounds like a lot. In reality, it isn't much of anything but more rejections.

Lastly, I should be hearing back from most schools by the end of the year. Most schools let an applicant know within six weeks of his/her application's completion if the school will offer that applicant an interview. Most of mine were completed late October/early November. They will all be informing me how qualified I am, but they will not have the opportunity to offer me an interview. They are incredibly sorry they couldn't select me because there was an incredibly large pool of qualified applicants this cycle. This in no way signifies I am incapable of attending medical school. They are incredibly sorry (again) and wish me the best of luck. Blah blah blah.

I should just write my own letters and send them to myself.