Day 188: Friends and physics

I realized today, the core group of friends I have here, are not really friends. We were friends throughout the summer and now...I'm a blip on their radar. It certainly didn't occur overnight and I think I did what I always do (which is pull out of these situations before I can get hurt) which may have abetted the situation. However, it didn't help because it still sucks.

Everything feels incredibly strained when we're together and I feel like I'm forcing myself upon them. At this point, they've stopped being friends and are now somewhere between acquaintances and friends. I'm not included in any outings anymore and it kind of sucks.

Therefore, my return to California now seems imminent and necessary. Come July 31st, 2009 -- I am driving me and all my stuff back to sunny California and getting out of this hellhole called North Carolina.

I hear ya lady, I do...

On an academic note (I can't believe I didn't post about as soon as I found out)...my decrepit physics professor is NOT going to be my professor next semester. I might actually learn something. I mean, what a concept! Huzzah for the possibility of learning! I just have to get through this class (and the final) and then I'm going to go home and teach myself what I have not learned these past 13 weeks.

Day 185: A little more positivity

So to actually update you all on the goings-on of my life...

Physics I lab ended on Wednesday. It was one of the better days of my life.

I have two tests the week we get back from Thanksgiving. Therefore, it is better that I am not celebrating Turkey Day with my beloved family. I can study instead, which is what I really need to do.

I'm making more friends and the friends I've got are fine. We play sports and apparently have Fun Fridays and it's fine. I'm learning to not do things that I don't want to (like watch them play "Call of Duty" for hours on end) and it's good. Slowly but surely.

Oh! And it snowed Thursday night! Snow! (It was cold...brr...) It's all melted now but it was fun to wake up to a blanket of snow on top of everything (including my car).

Day 184: It's all over...not really

I have nothing to do! That is until the week after Thanksgiving. I'm really excited to just do my own thing for the next week. I'm going to watch "Mixed Nuts", buy some holiday gifts, send some holiday gifts. Blah blah blah. This is all scintillating stuff. Blah.

School stuff, my biology test was fine. It could have gone better (a higher A) but I'm over the whole bit. I'm studying physics hardcore because I really need to. Organic is organic. I am as boring as a bag of rocks right now.

Day 180: Blah

I don't have good titles anymore.

I just try and blog regularly to keep you all in the loop.

Emotionally, I've decided every day is a struggle. Struggle makes it sound more dramatic than it is. Every day is question mark. Will I be moody Jessica or happy Jessica today? Moody Jessica tends to win out but I'm working on it.

On a much more positive note, I Skype-d around the world yesterday with my two best friends in the entire freaking world and was reminded that I am loved and wanted and blah blah blah. It's just good to remember that people care for you. Blah blah blah.

I have a biology test on Tuesday and then I'm home free until after Thanksgiving. Speaking of which, I will be staying here in North Kakalaky and bumming around and working and whatnot. It's a bit of a bummer because I really want to be home, but I'm a big girl now. (Supposedly.) I should learn to suck it up. ...or live some place closer to my family.

Day 176: More test results and "sad" news

This blog must be so boring for all of you. Test this week, test that week. Results a few days later. Let me tell you, the lack of excitement you feel when reading this blog is fairly demonstrative of the kind of life I'm leading now. Blase. Boring. Discontent. Blah blah blah.

So I got my Organic results back and I did fine. My friend Chris did better than me again and I was in a pissy mood all day as a result. If I could truly express how innately more intelligent I am ... it's just offensive that he does better to be honest.

My "friends" are leaving me out of get-togethers and whatnot and whatever random-close-friendship-thing Kevin and I had ... well, that's over and done with too. I can tell that this whole situation is going to turn out like my last year at NYU -- lots of lonely nights and general bad things for my psyche.

Whatever.

Day 172: Another test, another day

I had my third Organic exam yesterday. It could go either way. One question (based solely on stereochemistry and nomenclature -- basically naming compounds and what they look like in space) was worth 36 points so...yeah. Either way.

I'm just chugging along with school at this point. A little bio here, and little organic there and some physics now and again.

In more social news, some friends(?) from SIP (not leaders but students in the class I lead for) invited me out to lunch and I accepted. We ate Japanese on Friday (after my test) and they're a cute bunch.

I am so boring. I think dripping snot is more exciting at this point.

Day 168: The Election

Today I will be straying from my typical school news to blog a bit about politics.

It's been terribly interesting to be in the South for this election. I come from liberal locations. California, liberal. New York City, super freaking liberal. North Carolina, pretty freaking conservative. It is important to note that many colleges run liberal so even here the Obama supporters are pretty outspoken. However, I can sense and see more conservatives than I ever have in my past.

One of my good friends here is a conservative. And the beauty of our friendship is how much we talk about politics. He sells conservatism and I listen. I rarely hear such comments and thoughts so it's rather refreshing to hear something so different than what I know.

Today, we were sitting in the car and listening to the radio and man, he was pissed. "We're heading towards socialism" and other such comments were uttered. What point we did agree on was GW's legacy. This is what George W. has done for his nation. He screwed up so bad, that he's turning red states blue. Blue! If Obama wins in NC, it'll be the first time the state's been blue in 30 years! That's a generation's worth of time!

I just can't believe it's November 4th. And I was thinking about what must be going on through the candidates' heads today and what will happen to them tomorrow. Whoever wins (and loses), will they rest? Do they have to keep campaigning? They won! (They lost.) It's just insane. And this time, I think the "liberal" media may finally get it right. Obama may very well become our first black president (which almost seems nominal at this point) and a Dem will be in office but this time, it's happening. I was so sure in '04 that Kerry would win (as a result of my location (NYC)) and was fairly shocked he lost. But this time around, GW has pretty much screwed the pooch for his party and this country. That seems to be the only thing the entire country agrees on at this point.

Like most things relating to me, this entry's all over the place but I'm not here to promote or condemn anything. The election has been so present in our lives for the past 18 months that I'm not sure what we're going to do tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month.

I hope you all voted and had an exciting voting experience. Huzzah for implementing your civic duties!

Day 165: Test results and thensome

I pretty much bombed my Physics test.

I didn't really, but when you get straight freaking A's for 5 months, getting anything less is a complete disaster. I don't want to talk about my grade or how much I completely abhor this professor. I just have to move on (because there's nothing I can do) and learn me some physics.

Halloween was fun. The post-bacc crew (we've grown quite a bit from the Fantastic Four) had a little shindig which involved spaghetti-and-meatballs, me and Joy being the only people to wear costumes, and my friends speaking Chinese to my Dad. All in all, it was a good night.